Friends, I’ve been confounded lately by the pressure for bloggers to be more and more naked in front of their readers. No, not genuine– naked. It’s almost as though if I show my thighs or how I look when I’m sick, I’m automatically going to be more popular. Or, if I link up my Instagram account to my blog and post photos of every pumpkin-spice latte I drink, you’re going to feel more connected with me.
The truth is however, blogging is performed. And we as bloggers– no matter how candid we appear to be– can never forget that. We call our readers our audience for a reason. These are the people we hope to engage in a meaningful way, even as millions of other online voices shout for their attention.
Furthermore, some of us desire that our blogs be more than just ramblings, or worse, rants. We hope our readers find our posts inspiring, useful, thought-provoking, encouraging and creative. We hope you feel better, think more, speak louder, and live more fully because you spent a few minutes of your day with us.
But this doesn’t mean that I divulge every last detail about myself here; in fact, I would feel inconsiderate doing so. Instead, I share pieces of my life that I think are uplifting and relatable– not just things that will convince you that I, too, am human.
Meanwhile, I’m careful about making my life appear seamlessly perfect. Life can be tough, frustrating and unpredictable, and you will see that here too. But somewhere between blinding perfection and self-deprecating imperfection is where I hope Simplicity Relished will fall.
{Lemon Rosemary Shortbread Cookies} Nope, I don’t eat this everyday.
So what does my blog say about me?
It says that I’m a woman on an adventure much like yours. Last month I embarked on a journey to simplify my wardrobe and it was a lesson in humility. As a college grad I’ve only started to work part-time while taking graduate courses, and I’m trying to be generous. And I don’t always feel good in front of a mirror, but I’m finding ways to overcome my insecurities so that I can live a more outward-focused life.
And as my dear blogger friend Amy wrote last week, our blogs are simply a glimpse of who we really are. We are not our blogs, and I can hardly have you believe that this space represents the entirety of my everyday life. I don’t eat lemon rosemary shortbread cookies everyday, nor do I successfully shop at the farmer’s market for all of my groceries. I am still working on loving my friends in ways that best lift them up. And as a recent newlywed, I’m also learning to care for my husband in self-giving ways.
 Not “How To” but “How I”
This blog is not a space for me to tell you how to think, understand, act or respond; it’s a space to share how I do some of those things. None of us our experts, but we can journey together towards the greatness we desire to achieve.
And this is why I am so honored to be sharing this moment with you. You’re joining me as I tell the story of “how I”— and I hope you find some encouragement and friendship here!
About Instagram…
I don’t dislike Instagram, not at all. But I’d like to further examine what it means in our generation to be known, seen, heard, and understood by others. Growing up, we were told that there is so much more to everything than meets the eye. We’re told not to judge books by their covers. To not dismiss people by their appearance.
But now, we scroll through our feeds, deciding within half a second whether or not to press “like”.
So, in our image-driven culture, let’s get beyond the pictures and superfluous details. Let’s actually get to know each other. Let’s share our hearts, our struggles, our passions, our desires. Because that’s what ultimately moves us towards the life we hope to live. Thank you for reading, friends, from the bottom of my very full heart!
—–
What do you share on your blog? What does it say (or not say) about you? What do you look for in a blog post? I’d love to know!
Nice perspective. I really enjoyed this…I love these kinds of posts.
Taylor! Thank you so much 🙂 I’m so glad you found my blog and are enjoying it. I’m going to check out yours!
Okay, really love the voice of your blog!!
http://www.taylormcunningham.com
Thanks, sis!! I love your blog concept and how committed you are to creating an encouraging community of women. And you are so right that our blogs are not designed to glamorize our lives, but to reflect and inspire and confess. I appreciate you stopping by and commenting:)
Charity, thanks so much for reading and responding! Yeah, it’s a really unfortunate mindset to have that one must disclose everything in order to make money or get attention. I guess as bloggers we all want readers but it’s a question of what kinds of ways we hope to draw people in. You are so right that bloggers are people too, who desire to be inspirational and relatable. Thanks for reading, I love hearing from you Charity!
I LOVE this! It’s is perfectly written. I think some people get lost in maintaining balance and privacy with trying to grow a following. My blog isn’t about me, it’s about women, and all of us being better. I share my experience cause that is all I have, but it’s to get you to think about your reality, not to glamorize mine ( cause it’s anything but glamorous). Very well said my friend!
I love your reference to being naked. I recently thanked a blogger (on her IG feed) for sharing her life with us (it was a particularly nice post that flamers had turned nasty) and someone tagged me back with the comment “she’s getting paid to do it.” As many celebrities and bloggers know, no amount of money can justify losing your privacy: she’s doing it because she enjoys it and she’s made a conscious choice of what to share and what not to share with the world. Relationships, depression, heartache…bloggers are people! We go through it all. But we have to choose what we blog about so we can represent ourselves not only in an inspirational (and not whiny) way, but also in a way that people can connect with. It’s hard to find the balance between real and really exposed. Love this post!
Thanks so much Faith! Yes, it’s a huge portion of the blogging journey and something we make choices about everyday. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment:)
Thanks so much Beth!! I love that it resonated with you. And I really appreciate you stopping by and commenting:)
Such a great post!! I struggle with what is just the right amount to share & what to keep just for us {my husband & I} It’s definitely a balancing act….thanks for being honest and open. 🙂
thanks for sharing this! I could agree more with a lot of this.
xoxo…beth
http://www.fashiondotnow.com
Thank you so much, Clara!!:) I really appreciate you stopping by!
Love this post, what a great read!
God bless,
XO, Claire
http://www.littlemissfashionqueen.blogspot.com
Thanks dear! Thanks so much for stopping by:)
Oh, I get you!! Yeah, I think I was reading blogs fro recipes before I acknowledged that they were blogs! Hah! Hope you have a lovely day:)
Ah, yes! I definitely agree that most bloggers who write those are really trying to be helpful, and most times they succeed. Honestly, DIY posts/blogs was originally what go me into blogging. It’s only every so often that I find a post that makes me wonder a little. Totally didn’t mean to sound judgmental! Sometimes when I try to “wax poetic” things come out funny. 🙂
I really enjoyed reading this
xo
http://www.laurajaneatelier.com
Thanks girl!! That is so encouraging! I really appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment. Let’s definitely stay in touch:) Checking out your blog now!
Thank you, Brie!! So good to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by:)
Thanks Mel!! Really appreciate you stopping by:)
Thanks so much! Thats the exact reason why I read blogs too! xx
Thank you so much, Katy! I’m glad that it resonated with you in some way. I really appreciate you stopping by and commenting! Let’s stay in touch:)
Emily, thank you so much! Yes, there are certain wonderful traits about people that are difficult to translate into the blog platform. It takes a while to cultivate a “voice” and a “persona” online, and even then, it’s only a partial representation of who we are in person. Bluntness, however, is easy to achieve 😉 Thanks so much for commenting and stopping by! I really appreciate it.
Thank you so much Neive! Haha I love your blogging approach, it’s why I love reading blogs! When people share their stories and ideas with sincerity and thoughtfulness, I find myself listening. Thanks for stopping by and commenting 🙂
Jessica, thank you so, so much! I love that you linked this to the idea of FOMO– the new descriptive acronym for our generation. It’s so true that social media can bring unhealthy comparison and even envy. Also thank you for sharing that fascinating NYT article!! It’s definitely related to this issue. Perhaps what we want is not privacy as in isolation, but privacy as in the freedom to share only as we choose– the power to curate our own image. Love hearing from you, Jessica, and I always enjoy your photos! <3
Nancy, thank you so much! You are so right: readers expect authenticity, but bloggers know that they are consciously (or subconsciously) making decisions about what to share and how to portray their lives. Authenticity can be such a difficult thing to achieve, right? Thank you so much for reading this post, engaging it and leaving such a thoughtful comment:) I really, really appreciate it. Let’s definitely stay in touch!
Thanks Lauren! Ah yes, the “how-to” posts. I can see how that can seem arrogant, as if they’re assuming the role of a know-it-all. But honestly I think most bloggers (including myself) are just trying to be helpful. People generally tend to like “how-to” posts, though implicitly it’s really “how I” in most cases. And I think it’s ok! Thank you so much for stopping by, Lauren! I love hearing from you.
Thanks so much Tiffany! Love that your goal is to inspire others, and so true that not every part of our lives is necessarily inspirational! Thank you so much for stopping by and leaving a comment– I really appreciate it:)
Just came across your blog and now I am so excited to read more after this post. Thanks for opening up and being real with us! The world needs more of that. 🙂
You are so inspirational and well spoken! I loved reading this entire thing.
My Fashion Fancies
http://www.myfashionfancies.com
Great post! Loved reading it
http://girlandthepolkadot.blogspot.com/
Thanks so much Shannon! And I totally agree– not a single life portrayed on a blog is perfect in reality, and we all know that:) I really appreciate you stopping by and commenting! Let’s stay in touch!
What wonderful thoughts, Chelsea!! I am so honored to have you on board as a reader and I’m so glad you’re enjoying my blog! I also totally agree with you that quality is key, and I love feeling invited into someone’s blog space. I’ve been enjoying your style and the notes you share about different pieces:) Keep it up!!
Thank you so much, Laura!! And you are absolutely right that there are pieces of us in everything we’re involved in, but none of them can capture our entirety. I really appreciate you stopping by, Laura. Hope to stay in touch:)
Well-put, friend! Thanks so much for stopping by– and yes, I love reading the kind of truth that invites me in, that I can relate to. I really appreciate you commenting:)
Good points, Lera, thanks for sharing your thoughts! It’s so good to stick to what actually interests you– I think it can be easy for bloggers to start emulating others in a way that is not authentic. Thanks for stopping by! <3
Thank you so much, Anne. and yes! I’ve had to remind myself over and over again that the pressure to appear perfect– and to upload all the perfect superfluous details of my life to social media– is not a real pressure! I’ve been loving your blog and the way you talk about what you’re walking through, Anne! And yes, no more Starbucks cups on IG, PLEASE! 😉
This is such an amazing and well thought out post! I love it. I love the honesty here, so awesome!
http://www.theroadtothere.me
Thanks, friend! I really appreciate you stopping by:)
Thank you so much, Shannon! Exactly– and I think sometimes as bloggers we feel the pressure to demonstrate that perfection in every area of our lives, which I know that I can’t do, at least not honestly! Love that you read and commented, Shannon! I’ve been enjoying your blog:)
Thank you so much Madison! Sometimes as “lifestyle” bloggers it feels like the boundary between our lives and our blogs is very porous. But you’re right– finding that balance is so important:)
Thank you so much Molly! And I totally understand how some blogs and magazines can contain so many words but so little meaning– I feel ya!
Thank you Jamie! I love your perspective– our words (and blogs) are tools to make a difference, hopefully to inspire and care for others near and far from us 🙂
Thanks Elissa! 🙂
Thanks, Ashley! I really appreciate you stopping by and reading this:)
Thanks Kiki! So, so, so glad to hear it:) Thanks for stopping by and I hope you continue to!
Thank you Sarah! I love that– not acceptance but understanding. That is SO true! I’ve definitely come across ideas that I don’t completely agree with in the blogosphere, but I’m learning to demonstrate understanding! Great point:)
Thanks Marielle:) Yeah, I think blogs are wonderful places to engage with others’ ideas. It’s those superfluous details that are shared on a whim and without purpose that I sometimes find exhausting to sift through! Thanks for reading this:)
Yes, Lindsay! Simplicity is the best thing.
Thank you Maggie! And yes– stylish and perfect is definitely not me, at least not all the time! It just occurred to me that those of us who do fashion posts must sometimes come across as permanently stylish and made-up! Haha and I know how untrue that is:) Loving your blog by the way:)
Absolutely love this post!!! So well-written and brings up a lot of thoughts about my own blog. I think my blog doesn’t fully describe and portray who I am. I feel that my personality and humor does not translate as well – as well as my opinions. I love honesty and bluntness in posts – always makes it more enjoyable! http://meowemily.blogspot.com
Well written. I write mostlye about “How I..” rather then “How to…”. I just write about myself and my life and feel flattered that anyone reads it!
This is such a super fascinating, thoughtful and well written post! It’s really important to remember that these glimpses we see into people’s lives are very carefully (at least we hope) curated — especially when we actually have a name for the negative reaction all this curated “sharing” has created — FOMO. I was just reading an article similar to this subject you might find interesting (http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/05/sunday-review/we-want-privacy-but-cant-stop-sharing.html?smid=pl-share&_r=0) I don’t agree with everything in it, but I think it’s an important topic to bring up, and I think it’s interesting to draw that comparison between privacy and wealth. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts on this! I think you’re doing a great job walking that line between too much and little info on the blogosphere =)
XO
Jessica
http://www.threadandbones.com
this post is incredibly thoughtful and poignant, which I appreciate. I also agree with so many of your points. I immediately became attracted to this post with your title but, upon further reading, I really appreciate your words and thoughts. Blogging is such a mixed setup. While readers expect an authentic self, you are right in stating that it’s still a filtered self. There is a lot of non-interesting bits, dramatic bits and sad bits. But, people generally don’t want to see all the bad unless there’s a good batch of good. It’s really disheartening otherwise I suppose. I also appreciate your point on our “short attention span” in which we instantly decide to “like” (or not like) a post on IG. It’s interesting to see where are as a society and hopefully not lose touch with authenticity.
xo,
nancy
http://www.adoretoadorn.com
I love your point about writing “how to” vs. “how I.” I feel as though many bloggers feel that they must write “how to” sorts of posts, but for myself, I feel that creating “how to” content would be almost bordering arrogance. Writing about “how I” is much more comfortable for me, because I don’t feel comfortable claiming to be an expert of anything, or that my life is perfect enough for anyone to be copying me. Anyway, I’m really happy that you and Amy both wrote posts about this topic recently!
I love this post! I don’t think as many people would like my blog if I reported every single incident (good or bad) that happened in my life. Not all blogs are meant for dishing out about our every day lives. The main focus of my blog is to inspire people, and I can’t do that if I shared every single part of my life. I think people should put whatever they want on their blog, because blog life and real life are definitely so, so different.
Love this post!! I think it’s important to be relatable because let’s be honest no one is perfect and no one has the perfect life! That comment about taking a picture of every pumpkin spice latte made me bust out laughing! So true!
<3 Shannon
Upbeatsoles.blogspot.com
Your blog is your blog, I totally agree you can share on whichever social network and what you put on your blog. I try to keep some of it personal, but mine is mainly focused on different outfits that can be worn for events, everyday or work. I look for quality blogs, I love how open you are on today’s post, asking real questions and reading some of the comments is great. Yes, blogs can keep you in hiding, as it’s just a space on the internet. Same as Insta, sometimes I love when I don’t post for 2 days over the weekend on insta, it means I am living my life 🙂 Great post and I hope when you visit my blog, I make you feel like a friend, laugh a bit and enjoy some inspiration. When I come to your blog I feel invited, that’s how it should feel.
Xo Chelsea http://www.shesaidhesaidfashion.com
So true. everything is only a portion of yourself, every friendship, every blog post, even every share on social media post, and we share different things for different people. Great post!
i share the truth in my blog, so i look for the same thing on other blogs.
This was a great post
Xo
Orly
Coffeebeansandhighheels.weebly.com
Not sure what Im looking for in a blog, it depends upon a blog, maybe more ideas, fun facts or mere entertainment )) As for me, I only share one certain part of me, mostly I do what interests me first of all.
http://lerablogs.blogspot.com/
Thank you so much Amy!!! Haha I was really inspired by your post reiterating the fact that life is so much more than our blogs (or any form of media) can represent. And that’s so funny you shared the tea post today! I’m happy to share my IG account name, daisysr14 🙂 It’s just one of those platforms i’ve decided not to use for blogging purposes. so let’s definitely be IG friends!
Love, love, love this post. So honest and true. Thank you for sharing it with us! I think people tend to see the perfect in others bc that’s what’s portrayed. It’s not the full picture and I find myself relating to bloggers that show they are real and human and not just posing with a prop bc everyone else is doing it (*coughStarbuckscough*).
Loved the post!!! Great thoughts!!
xoxo
Style and Paper
Bloglovin
I am love with this post. So much truth in it!
Thanks for linking to my post by the way! 🙂
In blogs- I definitely look for things that are visually appealing…high quality photos, etc. But I also look for REAL. Someone who shares real happenings in their lives without complaining, ranting, or claiming to have a perfect life. I think this is SO much about balance! Hard stuff, but a really great learning process to go through in deciding what you are going to share and how you are going to come across to your readers. I want my online life to be a clear reflection of my offline life. There shouldn’t be a difference.
Such a challenging post friend!
(I linked to your tea post today on my space before I even knew you were posting this!)
And because I truly love instagram- what is your instagram name? That is if you are interested in your blogger friends following on there! I totally respect if you keep it private!
This is such a great post! Blogging can definitely portray a sense of perfection within peoples lives and I think it’s important for us as bloggers and especially as readers or followers to remember that no ones life is as perfect as their Instagram portrays!
Shannon
Clothes & Quotes
I love these thoughts Daisy!! There is definitely a balance between sharing personal things and being too open. Reading someone’s blog really does give only a peek into the bloggers life!
This is such a great post! I’m a pretty complicated person so my blog, although it seems like it says everything about me, really says very little. My personal Tumblr on the other hand says quite a lot lol I always look for something that’s genuinely interesting in a post. Whether it’s a unique style or a unique view on something. I have to admit, I’ve never been much of a blog or magazine follower because not enough of the content stimulates me but every once in a while I’ll see that one thing that really inspires me or gets me thinking 🙂
http://life15juicy.wordpress.com/
Loved this. More than anything I want to make a difference in this world. If I am able to do that with my words then so be it. There is so much more to my story than what I write in my piece of blogland.
So any truths.
Xo
http://www.style-wire.com
Very thought-provoking, doll. And I agree- our blogs are only a snapshot of who we are!
-Ashley
http://lestylorouge.com
Such a fantastic read this morning. I love that you embrace flaws and human imperfections. When I read your entries I feel like you are a real person who I can relate to. Not some fake Youtube paid robot with no thoughts of her own. Keep up the deep posts. (:
This is SO great! I decided from the very beginning that I would keep most of my home life pretty private because I cherish it so much. But, I also decided that I would share what the Lord puts on my heart and if that means digging in, then I’ll do it! I’m not looking for acceptance but understanding when I post!
Love this. I don’t share much about my actual life, though details do pop up here and there. But I do share a lot about my thoughts, so even if my audience doesn’t know what I’m doing each day, they probably have a good understanding of my character. I mostly look for good writing or interesting topics in a blog post!
Simplicity is the key for me.
pinkandnavystripes.com
Preach it, sister! I love this post. It is such a struggle to decide what to share and how to share it. And trying to depict a stylish and perfect life is crazy!!
Maggie
http://www.PolishedClosets.com