I didn’t grow up in a family that watched much American television. In fact, my family didn’t watch any television– we owned a TV for years without actually knowing how to turn it on.
As far as I know, there were no truly strong moral objections to television. There was just always something better to do. My dad was a bookworm and my mom was always busy with something, so I rarely saw anyone watching a show or reading a magazine.
More importantly, my lack of exposure to TV– and all its nightly wonders–became a point of embarrassment. In middle school, I didn’t watch the shows that all my classmates were watching and talking about. I didn’t follow sports. I didn’t know who was in, who was out, who was hot, who was not, and who was the next best thing.
As I gained some independence and some Internet savvy, I decided it was time to learn all these names. Whether or not I had seen their movies or shows, I wanted to recognize these public icons that everyone seemed obsessed with. It was as though our lives would not be complete if we weren’t up-to-date on theirs.
The problem with “keeping up”
You might expect me to say that following the Joneses (or the Kardashians) through all their family adventures and drama can lead us to discontentment with our own lives. That jealousy will emerge from comparison and we’ll forget to be grateful for all we do have.
To be honest, I find that point to be rather shallow. I believe that we should be concerned with more than just our self-esteem. We are called to be generous with ourselves. Many of us are capable of giving and sharing so much. To think that the only evil that can come of stalking celebrities is our own insecurity, is to cheapen all that we were meant for.
[Tweet “To worry about comparison and discontentment alone is to cheapen all that we were meant for.”]
The true evil of following the lives of people we don’t know is that we miss opportunities to influence the lives of people we do know.
Our attention is more precious than we think
I remember back when I was in college, chasing the coattails of some rather self-absorbed old men, begging just to have “a minute of your time.”
I’ve jettisoned that sycophantic posture, partly because I’ve learned the value of my own time. I’ve learned what it means to be generous with my availability. I don’t want people to have to beg me for one minute. And I want to give away more than one minute.
So, if we think about the amount of time we spend catching up with celebrities who will never know our names, we might be shocked to realize that we don’t spend that much time on any single friend of ours. In other words, keeping up with celebrity gossip often means that we are not keeping up with someone we actually know.
I stopped caring whether I was up-to-date on the latest and greatest when I realized that I would prefer to spend that hour on the phone with a long-distance friend. Or my parents. Or basically anyone I actually know.
If you don’t think anyone needs your time and attention more than Beyonce does, then think again. Someone needs your help. Someone needs your call. Someone needs your attention, your listening ear, your open heart.
I want more time for people.
For as long as I can help it, I don’t want to be the friend who says, “Sorry I would love to listen, but I just don’t have any time.” And I already struggle to have enough time for the people I love. I’ve become increasingly aware that I have very little time for people I will never actually know.
Perhaps what is scary about keeping up with a friend rather than a celebrity is that this friend can hurt us. Maybe we’ll choose to be vulnerable with someone only to discover a cold steely heart that’s not ready for much depth.
There’s risk involved in investing in a real relationship. Perhaps we feel safer scrolling through our Instagram feeds– chock full of images from lives we can’t touch– than actually reaching and touching someone in need.
But there are rewards too. Heroism is the stuff of true friendship; it’s in those little moments of support and solidarity that the real dragons are slain.
So we can ride the roller-coasters of celebrity life without a moment of true relationship with those individuals. Or we can go on a real journey, galloping through rugged, beautiful terrain with those whom we love and who can actually love us back.
Only one of these is an adventure.
[Tweet “Celebrity gossip: the surprising benefits of not keeping up via @daisylinshih”]
Thank you so much for reading this, Amanda! It’s pretty amazing the amount of time and attention required to keep up, and how many better ways those could be spent.
Thank you Renee! And that whole local radio station thing– how weird! It is surprising there’s nothing “better” to talk about… how unfortunate.
Thanks so much for reading, Emily! I so deeply appreciate your thoughtful comment.
I do think that by keeping up with celebrities, people find a way to be nosy about someone else’s life with very little relational risk. It’s sad– because I’ve learned so much from the real, raw, and thriving relationships I’ve had with friends. The world needs more true friendships!
Thank you, Rachel. Yes, me too… I know I’ve made an intentional choice with my time. And if I’m not up-to-date on everyone, that’s okay.
Thanks so much Maru! I really appreciate you stopping by!
So so glad this resonated with you, Jeannette! And you are always too kind in your comments! I think you’re so right in deciding you don’t need to get hung up on living through someone else’s (portrayal of) life. The people in our own lives need us to be fully present, so that’s where we should all choose to be. Thanks for reading this, sweet friend!
Thanks for reading this, Kaylee! I appreciate it. 🙂
Thank you, Christina! You’re so right– those “comings and goings” of celebrities are the minutiae of lives that hardly touch ours.
Exactly! We spend so much time and heart on people we don’t really know… and then say we don’t have time to spend with the people we love. I do think that some blogging relationships can be pretty real and significant… but some of them are quite superficial and also not worth our time.
Thank you Rachel! It’s true, this stuff is everywhere. I often find though that even if I occasionally go down the rabbit hole, I always want to come back out and grow closer to the people I actually know!
Thank you so much for reading this and for your thoughtful comment, Lauren! It’s definitely my goal to be, as you wrote, generous, full and wholehearted. It’s a journey!
Ah thanks friend! Yes, people in real life (our lives at least) are the ones that should matter most!
Thanks friend! So glad this resonated with you!
Thanks so much, Kat. Yes– when we realize how many other important things we can be spending time on, the latest on celebrities’ lives fades into theb ackground.
haha yes!! *virtual high fives!*
ah that means so much to me, Kelsey! So glad you’ve decided not to care… I know that it can sometimes be awkward to not be as up-to-date as everyone else when it comes to the Kardashians but there’s not one moment when I regret that!
Totally loved this post! I am with you Daisy, I rather invest the time I will spend on following celebrity gossip or lives on figuring out how can I be the best I can be so that I can help others. We can’t not give what we don’t have, right? I personally don’t watch TV these days. I just don’t have the time and I refuse to get hung up on living through somebody else’s life. There is a reason why those shows are produced. They certainly make lots of money out of people that love spending time learning about others lives and issues and haven’t yet found something better and more productive to focus all their energy into. Before I say good-by I want to tell you that you are super talented Daisy. You need to start making videos about everything you write! Sending you lots of Love and Blessings! XOXO, Jeannette
I loved this post and completely agree! Honestly, there is so much more in life to focus on.
This was filled with so much truth. There are moments that I regret not knowing about whats going on with celebrities but then I remember that there are so much more important things in life
What an incredible post! I love your perspective on this. So true! I’ve never kept up with celebrities for exactly the same reasons. It’s too time-consuming, and that person is so far out of reach that you get little to no lasting value from the time you invest in pursuing them.
I especially love your perspective on why people are reluctant to invest in those around them. I think you’re right; people are afraid. Afraid of showing too deep a part of themselves–of being hurt. Because when you invest in someone close to you, you put a piece of yourself in their hands, and that’s something most people are reluctant to do. We find it safer to hide behind our computer screen and watch others from the shadows of the internet. But I think we miss one of the biggest values of life, then: connection.
Thank you for sharing this beautiful post. I’ll definitely be passing it along!
“The true evil of following the lives of people we don’t know is that we
miss opportunities to influence the lives of people we do know.” Wow! That is so true!
There is so much truth in this Daisy! Your points are spot on, it can be so easy to spend more time concerned about celebrities and their comings and goings than actually investing that time into meaningful, real-life relationships.
How true–why spend time staying up to date on celebrities lives and then make excuses about why we can’t stay in touch with people who are actually in our real lives? I guess the same could be said about time spent on blogging and blog people–but that feels a little more real and personally impactful than celebrities, I supposed. After all, had a blogger staying at my house last week–not something a celebrity would do. 🙂
This is so on point. I’ll admit that with certain celebs or stories I get caught up, but most of the time it’s because it’s all over my social media feeds and I can’t avoid it!
My parents were pretty strict about TV too and I’m so grateful for that! There are so many people in our worlds who can use our attention and intentional time and you’re so right…spending that time following the lives of random celebrities is not helpful! I want to live a life like you describe and pour into people in ways that are generous and full and wholehearted. Thanks for sharing this beautiful piece, Daisy!
Love this so much, Daisy! I did grow up watching a lot of TV (almost always surrounded by my family, but still), and I never really found myself “into” the whole fascination with celebrities and their lives. I’m now realizing it’s for many of the same reasons you named! I would much rather know and talk to people in real life than keep up with celebrity whereabouts and gossip.
Such a great post (as always!). I used to be one of those people that was always in the know about celebrity gossip. But, lately I’ve had zero interest. I feel like I have so many other more important, “real life” things that deserve my attention.
xoxo
Kat
Love this. What an incredible point you’re making, one that often gets lost in the noise of our TVs blaring out the latest news. Thanks for sticking up for the right thing!
I would much rather talk to my friends (YOU included) about what is going on in their lives than obsess over people who don’t know I exist! 🙂
We had a TV and my dad was constantly watching ESPN on it, but I wasn’t really allowed near it. There was an occasional cartoon I was allowed to watch, but my mom was ultra-religious and we spent a lot of time not at home and not watching TV. I didn’t really think much of it until I was nearing “tween-hood” and realized I didn’t know what my friends were talking about when it came to pop culture…which was also influenced by the fact that the radio wasn’t something I was allowed to listen to, either. Ha!
I became more in-tune with celebrity culture as a teen, but when I became a mom at 18, it took a backseat again – I just didn’t have time to keep up with it because I was busy caring for my new baby. Over the next seven years I had two more kids and now I’m almost 30 and have recently been slammed in the face with how little I actually know when it comes to celebrity culture. Having my kids “school” me on pop culture does make me feel A LOT older than 29 sometimes but at the end of the day, I don’t care that I’ve never seen a single episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. In fact, it’s turned into a weird point of pride for me.
Anyway, enough rambling. Love this post (as always)!
Love this! You are so spot on! You know what drives me crazy? While listening to our LOCAL radio station they sit there and talk about what celebrities are getting up too! And make comments and discuss their lives as if it has some sort of impact on them! You’d think they would want to talk about their own community and whats been going on here but nope, celebrity lives are more important apparently! haha Great post 🙂
Renee | Lose The Road
I couldn’t agree with this post more! I barely have enough time to keep up with myself, let along worrying about keeping up with celebrities!
Amanda
http://anchoredtosunshine.com/