simplify Archives - Simplicity Relished

Create More Margin: 6 Steps to Taking Back Your Schedule

July 5, 2016

If you’re like me, this is what happens at the beginning of every new month: you flip the calendar page (if you remember), marvel at the fact that it’s already whatever-month, and decide to create more margin or be more intentional with your time.

And, if you’re really like me, you feel as though the transition from month to month should be akin to an Olympic track athlete springing gracefully like a gazelle over each hurdle. But instead, you feel more like a tired hippo hurling itself over the last barrier, perhaps knocking it over, and definitely not landing on your feet.

I’ve felt this especially this year– 2016– like I’ve been hurling myself from one month to the next, hoping the weight of my exhaustion will lend me the inertia I need to get through the next slew of events.

What happened on vacation

I’ll be honest. I LOVED Mexico City, and will definitely be writing about it (there need to be more resources out there!). But I was stressed throughout the trip. My mind was juggling a hundred different things– professional, personal, relational, physical– and just because I had left the office and chosen not to do any work, the chaos from the past few months followed me.

I don’t imagine I’m alone here. Anxiety and worry are human tendencies. Some of us simply choose to indulge in them more than others.

What we need: margin, not balance

I wrote a letter to my newsletter community several months ago about the mythical idea of balance. Balance is what we think happens when we have just the right amount of everything; it’s quite an Eastern idea, actually, and a bit odd that we in the West are so insistent that it exists.

What I’ve realized more recently is that we need margin, not balance. Margin is empty space– and that emptiness is inimitably precious.

Margin is like silence in music– you have to play it. It’s the moment when the song takes a breath, intentionally, measuredly, confidently. It’s there for a reason.

So how do we create more margin? How do we play those rests with so much intention that we’re reminded they are there for a reason?

And, more importantly, how do we do it well enough to be back in control of our schedules?

I think it’s more than saying no. The “just say no” movement barely merits the designation of cliche; we all know that “saying no more often” is all too easy to say and all too difficult to do.

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Discovering Unselfish Reasons to Simplify Your Life

June 20, 2016

The simple living movement often appears to be very much about the self.

Simplifying one’s life is often motivated by the desire to achieve goals, enjoy experiences, and generally feel happier. There’s nothing wrong with this– in fact, it is vital for us to prioritize what we love most– but within it also lies the challenge of whether simple living can have an impact outside of our own lives.

Can simple living be a selfless decision, too?

What does it mean to live simply– not just for yourself, but for others? What does it mean to live simply for the world’s benefit?

I believe that simple living can have a direct impact on our friends and on communities outside of our reach, and it is often what keeps me going when I would rather succumb to the temptation to consume. Simplifying your life will be good for you; but it will also be good for so many others.

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5 Ways to Relax When Your Mind Won’t Turn Off

May 9, 2016

My husband and I have enjoyed sharing meals since our very first date. We both love food, and have come to love it together– refining each other’s tastes and preferences as we explore culinary possibilities at home.

But my favorite thing about eating together is the conversation we’re able to have– that is, if my mind isn’t going 90 miles an hour. He’s gotten accusomted to pausing the conversation and asking me deliberately, “What’s on your mind?”

Most of the time, it’s easy for me to point to something: something that has nothing to do with our table conversation. Why do I do this? I’ve often wondered.

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Simple not Stressful: a daily guide to making your home a place of rest

April 12, 2016

There’s nothing more overwhelming than coming home from a long day of work and finding a mess. Whether there are dishes and games leftover from weekend entertaining, or outerwear that is strewn all over the couch, I’ve often found myself on the brink of just throwing everything away.

It’s all too easy to blame our schedules, our obligations, our families and partners, or our need for more free time, but we’re not powerless in this situation. If clutter is something we want to eliminate, we absolutely can!

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Why We Need Rituals (and how to develop your own)

March 9, 2016

I spent this past weekend celebrating a friend’s wedding in Columbus, Ohio. If you’ve ever been involved with a wedding– yours or someone else’s– then you’re aware of all the fanfare and fuss that surround it. Not only are there standard elements in almost every wedding ceremony, but there are also rehearsal dinners, toasts, first looks, dancing, dining, and so much more. It is an event nearly defined by rituals. Marriage itself seems something entirely different.

In the whirlwind of preparation before the wedding, she and I sat in a moment of quiet reflection. We need rituals, she said. Perhaps they don’t change anything in our physical reality– but in our emotional-spiritual space, rituals occupy a lot of significance.

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5 Mindset Changes That Limit Unnecessary Shopping

February 24, 2016

I have come a long way in this area. I used to be able to enter the first letter of my favorite brands into my search bar, and their full URLs would pop up. That’s how often I “window-shopped” online. Of course, said window-shopping quickly became real shopping.

There are many reasons to limit unnecessary shopping, but they might not be the ones that immediately come to mind. Avoiding unnecessary purchases can certainly save money, but saving money isn’t everyone’s highest priority. Perhaps there are things you desire more deeply than a stash of cash: courage, generosity, community, purpose, joy… and limiting your shopping can help with those things, too.

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5 Ways to be More Intentional with Your Time

February 1, 2016

When we were in Morocco, our guide got used to us being 10-15 minutes late to everything. Eventually, he got tired of reassuring us and we got tired of apologizing– so he told us this: “In the West you have watch. In Africa we have time.”

I can still hear his accent and see his charming smile as he calmed his weary guests. Whether he ought to have spoken for the entire continent of Africa was irrelevant– I, on the other hand, am certainly familiar with the culture of rushing, even while on vacation. What is it that we love about efficiency?

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10 Minimalist Secrets To Minimizing Regret

October 26, 2015

We’ve all heard the adage that hindsight is 20/20, but that’s no consolation for poor decisions made. We can easily become so wrapped up in self-punishment for the past that we experience very little life in the present.

While all of us have regrets– large and small– we also have the agency to choose what to do with them. And specifically, there are lifestyle choices we can make to minimize the likelihood to regret our present decisions in the future.

Minimalism doesn’t solve everything

After I wrote 5 Minimalist Secrets to Saving Money, I quickly realized that I did not intend for it to be a catch-all solution to better financial management. There are just a few philosophical aspects of the minimalism movement that are particularly helpful for those trying to spend responsibly.

It’s the same, in my opinion, with regret. If we consider ourselves minimalists (in one or many areas of our lives), then we are forced to approach our decisions with useful principles.

Ultimately, I don’t think that minimalism– or simple living of any variety– should be about the financial bottom line. It should help our daily lives reflect more what our deepest desires and core values are. And when that happens, it’s very likely that our list of regrets will shorten, if not disappear altogether.

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10 Simple Things I Want For My Kids

October 16, 2015

This post is going to make me sound really old-fashioned. Perhaps, just old.

I work with kids everyday, and even if I’m barely 10 years older than some of them, I see a stark difference between their realities and mine. While my students are hardly a conclusive sample size, I’ve observed a discrepancy between what I would expect from children, and what I actually see.

I should mention that my students are relatively privileged: at the very least, their parents care deeply about their education and have demonstrable desires for their success. But every time I sit down to work with each student, I can’t help but feel that there’s something almost missing about them.

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6 Indispensable Habits To Schedule Into Your Day

September 30, 2015

I’m becoming more and more aware that habits are built with intentionality and discipline. There’s a part of me that knows what I should do and desires those good things, while there’s another part of me that proves that those desires aren’t quite strong enough.

You see, we are creatures of habit, but we are not creatures who easily build new habits. We much more quickly fall out of discipline than into it, and we’ll much more readily discuss what we should be doing than actually do it.

I’ve been convicted about the changes I’ve been intending to make to my lifestyle, especially last week. I spent most of last week at home alone because Aaron was at a conference. Without my usual accountability partner and best friend around, my daily rhythms fell into a bit of disarray. So now I’m determined to cultivate these habits for good– and to commit to them solidly enough that I can maintain them even if no one else is around to keep me in check.

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8 Good Reasons To Choose A Small Home

September 24, 2015

I’m no advocate of the tiny house movement, but I am becoming more and more convinced that the best homes are small.

Despite my appreciation for beautiful architecture— much of which is made grander in larger spaces– I find myself less and less desiring an eye-catching, stately home. I’m beginning to think that, at any given stage of life, one to two-thousand square feet will be more than enough. I’m no longer dreaming of anything larger.

You see, I’ve begun to realize what it is that I actually love about a home. It’s the space that home has for people to gather, laugh, encourage, and enjoy good food and drink. I want a space just large enough to fit a group of friends– and small enough that we can all still see each other and hear each other’s voices.

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How To Fall In Love With Your Current Home (no matter where you live)

September 9, 2015

Unless you follow me on Pinterest, you probably don’t know that I love interior design. It’s an art I’ve appreciated for a long time, but have little experience or real knowledge about. Despite wanting to continue living in a small, low-maintenance home in the future, I can still admire the design genius behind floor-to-ceiling windows, indoor-outdoor bathrooms, and grand entrances.

Many of us are dissatisfied– if only slightly– by our current home. Perhaps we wish we had more natural light, or a better space for entertaining. Maybe we dwell with other family members and can only call our bedroom truly our own. And some of us live in an urban environment when we want to be in the country, while others long for nothing more than bustling streets and lively evenings.

It’s hard not to criticize our current home, or hope that our abode will improve in the future.

However, I believe that homes have a greater purpose than satisfying our aesthetic preferences and holding our belongings. A home is an important space, and even if it’s not perfect, it’s possible to love.

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7 Essential Steps to Simplify Your Life This Fall

September 8, 2015

With Labor Day Weekend behind us and school starting up everywhere, autumn will be upon us soon. Here comes the season that launches a whole new gamut of celebrations, commitments, and obligations that vie for our time, money, and attention. If we aren’t intentional about it, this season has the potential to fill us up and overwhelm– leaving us exhausted and over-committed just in time for the holidays.

Chaotic seasons come in waves, but busy-ness can make itself at home in our lives without any signs of leaving. If your goal, like mine, is to live simply and purposefully, then we need to guard against the notion that busy-ness is just a normal way of life.

Attending to various commitments is not inherently bad; it’s committing without purpose that can make us feel out-of-control. Autumn is when most of us start expecting busy-ness to come knocking, but I think that if we choose to, we can still keep our priorities in sight. Just because the seasons are changing does not mean we have to get lost in it.

The seasons are changing but we don’t have to bow to chaos. 7 steps to simplify your life this fall…

The truth about simple living is that sometimes you and I have to make unpopular choices. In a world where most everyone bites off more than they can chew and then proceed to barely come through, we must be different in order to achieve different results.

This fall, I’m continuing to simplify various areas of my life. I believe that our careers and achievements matter less than our purposes and priorities. Because even if we haven’t reached our goals yet, or if we find ourselves in an otherwise less-than-ideal circumstance, we can still choose intentionality. We can still live by our core commitments.

Want to simplify your life with me? Here are 7 steps I’m taking.

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10 Things You Should Never Do To De-Stress (and what to do instead)

August 31, 2015

We love to say this: “I need to (fill in the blank). It will help me de-stress.”

Usually, we fill that blank with some kind of guilty pleasure: shopping, overeating, drinking, binge-watching television, Facebook stalking, Pinterest scrolling, and more.

Last Thursday, I wrote a post about why we need real hobbies and not just side-hustles, but I don’t want the conversation to end there.

When asked how to eliminate stress, many people will tell you to do any number of the activities listed above. Why do we think that stress is something an indulgent activity can eliminate– like an eraser on a misspelled word?

We’ve somehow been fooled into thinking that a momentary pleasure can lift burdens off of our shoulders, as though any intentional action would fail to actually address the problem.

It’s what I call the “treat yourself” mentality.

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What To Do This Weekend If You’re Avoiding The Mall

August 7, 2015

Let’s be honest. Wandering around the mall (or Walmart or Target) is a real American past-time.

A pretzel, a swimsuit, and a few shopping bags later, we find ourselves having spent more money than we had planned when we initially said we’d go “walk around.”

And if you’re trying to resist buying things you don’t need, a trip to the mall is probably not what the doctor ordered.

But it’s so hot outside.

I get it– the mall offers “free” air conditioning, right? Well, perhaps. It would be free if you didn’t drop a single dime while you were there. You get the point.

So what options do we have in the summer that don’t involve shopping and subsequently cluttering up our homes?

I’ve got a few ideas for you that will not only protect your wallet, but also possibly expand the list of options you have for any open weekends coming up.

Avoiding the mall? Here are 7 alternatives for your weekend via @daisylinshih #minimalism #budget

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