People Archives - Simplicity Relished

The 6 Types Of People You Need At Your Table

May 17, 2016

Say yes, say no. We are constantly told to draw boundaries, especially in relationships.

It’s hardly enough to “be intentional” when choosing friends. It’s impossible to choose relatives. And try as we might, we find ourselves connected to, enmeshed with, and integrated into a community of imperfect individuals.

How does this often play out? We begin a friendship with sympathy, commiseration or even lust for a neighbor’s status or possessions. We then develop deeper connections– until we grow tired and impatient. The result? We claim minimalism as our mantra and declare that we “just don’t need someone like that in my life.”

Let’s Build A Cafe In Ecuador

December 11, 2015

You might remember that Aaron and I spent July in Ecuador. We wandered through the lovely streets and plazas of Quito, and made a 3-day jaunt to the Andean town of Cuenca as well.

But the main reason we visited was to volunteer with Casa Victoria. We helped run their summer program for kids in the San Roque neighborhood, and spent time taking photographs, sharing stories and falling in love with their ministry.

Making Room: The Truth About Hospitality

December 9, 2015

Come in, sir, for you are weary
And the night is cold out there
Though our lives are very humble
What we have, we have to share…

These simple yet remarkable words are sung by the bishop in the musical Les Miserables (kudos if you recognized it!). I experience a jolt of conviction each time I see this show– and am reminded of the high call on our lives to open our homes to strangers, wanderers, and the needy around us.

What kind of story would Les Miz be without Valjean’s redemptive meal at the bishop’s humble table? There would be no story at all– no rebirth of his identity, no adoption of Cosette, no peace for Fantine, no rescuing of Marius– the dramatic difference an act of kindness has is at the crux of Hugo’s story. Valjean’s personal transformation is the only argument against Javert’s unyielding legalism. And it all started with the opening of a single door when all other doors were closed.…Continue Reading

Give Impact: 7 Socially Responsible Gift Ideas

December 4, 2015

It’s no secret that we Americans spend billions of dollars every holiday season purchasing gifts for each other. It’s also no secret that many products we purchase are made in industries that have been neglectful (at best) when it comes to the lives of factory workers.

Most of the time, we shop for the best deals: what’s in it for me? Can I get this any cheaper? Can I finish this any faster? We often forget that we’re usually the last person in the story behind the item. Someone else gathered the materials, assembled them, packed them, shipped them, and put them out for display.

Can we really make a difference?

We’re all aware of the social problems associated with fast fashion and cheap food– but we can also feel powerless to change any of these systems of injustice. I have good news for you today: your purchases can make a positive impact on the lives of needy people around the world.

I’m passionate about this issue because I love gift giving. In recent years I’ve reined in my spending and given humbler gifts, but the process of selecting something special for someone special still makes my heart happy. So if you’re like me– and you’re not sitting out on gift giving this year– check out these amazing companies that are doing good things around the world!

6 Ways To Stay Connected When Life Gets Busy

October 7, 2015

I anticipated that this season would be busy for me– both due to personal pursuits and the rhythms of our culture– but I must admit I’ve been feeling unprepared. It’s only early October and I’ve already felt the pressure of a tight schedule, too many items on my to-do list, and the lack of a real break in the near future.

I’ve been a huge proponent of unstructured free time on this blog, and I still am– even as I see that time dwindling away from my calendar. As Aaron and I both settle into our second year here in Pasadena and into this season of our lives, we are both becoming more involved, more ambitious, and more in demand.

5 Principles for Post-College Friendship

September 17, 2015

As a veteran of a long-distance relationship (that successfully led to marriage), I’m no stranger to the challenges of maintaining friendship over time and space. The reality many of us face after graduating college is that we lose touch with the people we loved and cherished for a season.

Changes in space = changes in friendship

There are many causes for this, not least the fact that we no longer live together. It is less likely that we share experiences once we enter the work force or continue our education. As experiences begin to vary, common ground can feel like it’s shrinking– which in turn makes it even more difficult to reconnect.

I’ve recently reconnected with a few friends from college and have been reflecting on the state of our friendships. It’s a challenge when distance forces us to miss entire chapters in each other’s lives– when in the past we’ve never missed a beat. Still, if maintaining past friendships is a manner of reconnecting with our whole selves, then there are steps we can take to keep those friendships alive.

Post-college friendships are different too.

Furthermore, my approach to new friendships is shaping up to be different as well. Getting less “face time” with my new friends than I did with my college friends means that it takes longer to get to know someone. I can’t assume that they thoroughly understand the context of my work or the circumstances I face. I no longer belong to the same institutions as my new friends, even if we have an overlapping community.

Ultimately, maintaining old friendships and making new ones both require more intentionality once college is over. Over the past year, here’s what I’ve learned!

Lessons I’ve Learned From Kids Who Live With Less

July 24, 2015

We’re finishing up our time in Ecuador today. We’ve spent the past 3 weeks at Casa Victoria, volunteering with children in a low-income neighborhood in Quito.

I can’t wait to write more about our travels in Ecuador, but first I want to share about the kids we’ve worked with. They need encouragement, love, and a firm hand just like all other kids, but there are a few values they hold that I really appreciate.

In fact, I’ve noticed these trends among underprivileged children around the world. As a volunteer, I’ve spent time teaching children in Asia and Latin America– children who were not necessarily in crisis, but certainly came from low-income families. I’ve learned that their owning less, though often seen as a disadvantage, can yield some beautiful lessons.

Lessons from Kids Who Live With Less

5 Ways to be Generous within Your Financial Limits

July 17, 2015

“I want to be generous one day, when I’m more financially comfortable,” so many of us say.

“I’ll volunteer more of my time, when I get to where I want to in my career,” we also add.

“I’ll help people get opportunities, when I have all the connections,” we promise.

Why do we do this? Probably because we think that we’re not rich yet. We think we don’t have the resources to help others yet. We think there’s a point when we will wake up and say, “I have more than enough now. Now, I can help others.”

The problem with holding off generosity

A wise friend once told me that our actions shape our desires. Let me repeat that: our actions shape our desires.

Don’t we often expect it to be the other way round? We allow our desires– our wants, needs, wildest dreams– to shape what we do and say.

But, what we do and say also shapes who we are. We are creatures of habit, you and I, and if we deliberately make choices that push us in a certain direction, we begin to become those choices.

So what’s the problem with holding off generosity? Why can’t we wait till we’re making a comfortable income to donate? Why can’t we wait till we’ve landed our dream job to spare time for others?

It’s because when we’ve reached that point in our lives, our desires will have changed. That’s right: if you have a generous heart today– which I know you do– it doesn’t mean that you will STILL be generous 20 years from now.

You have to act on that generosity immediately. Otherwise, 20 years could go by without an act of generosity– and perhaps by then, that desire will be but a faint memory.

Generosity is dangerous

7 Superlatives from Our First Year of Marriage

June 9, 2015

June 7th, 2014: I remember it fondly.

It was a whirlwind weekend of wedding gatherings, events and lots of amazing food. Loved ones traveled from near and far to celebrate our wedding as friends cheered us on. Nothing could be greater than launching our new adventures with so many blessings and well-wishes.

This past Sunday, Aaron and I celebrated a year of marriage. It’s a drop in the bucket of years ahead, but a drop nonetheless.

Since being married, I’ve become more self-aware. I’ve become more introspective, if that’s even possible, partly due to always having a patient and observant conversation partner. (There are perks to marrying a psychologist!)

And through our conversations, my husband has followed me through thick and thin as my heart faced turmoil of many kinds. We often think that adventures involve trekking to high elevations or swimming deep oceans; but adventures can happen in a small apartment, as one person pours their heart out to the other.

So, our first year has wrapped up, and I want to remember all the highs and lows. Thus, superlatives!…Continue Reading

Where were you? A look at global poverty and violence

May 15, 2015

It’s not fun to talk about violence.

We would much rather give clean water, sponsor a child, donate books and invest in microloans. We would rather not talk about slavery.

But according to International Justice Mission founder Gary Haugen, we have to talk about violence. We have to understand its hegemony over the lives of the impoverished in the developing world….Continue Reading

Lessons I Learned While Working in Addiction Recovery

May 8, 2015

After I graduated high school, I did not go straight to college. Instead, I packed my bags in San Francisco and boarded a flight to New Hampshire. A year later, this is what I had learned.

The Back Story…

I had planned to take a gap year between high school and college ever since my sophomore year. I wanted to see and experience something other than academics and extracurriculars. My childhood hero was Mother Theresa, so I jumped at the opportunity to work with underprivileged individuals. And somehow I found myself in Middle-of-Nowhere New Hampshire, a new young staff at an addiction-recovery program for adults mostly older than me.

Nepal Relief: 5 Organizations to Consider

April 27, 2015

During my lifetime, the world has seen several devastating earthquakes. The deadliest of these felled up to hundreds of thousands of people: Japan in 2011, Haiti in 2010, China in 2008, Indonesia in 2004.

Nepal’s recent earthquake has taken over 3000 lives, and counting.

But the death toll is really only the beginning. There’s so much more to be endured by survivors. From finding food and shelter to having access to clean water, to rebuilding lives destroyed by disaster, there is immense work to be done.

Thankfully, there are people already committed to that work: volunteer medics, rescue teams, food distribution centers, childcare facilitators, and more. Within just a few days of the earthquake, volunteers are already on the scene, partnering with survivors to provide short-term relief, and long-term recovery.

Lessons I Learned From Traveling as a Child

April 17, 2015

A question people sometimes ask me is, Why do you like to travel so much? To be honest, it never really occurred to me that travel was a preference; I always considered it a luxury and opportunity that everyone would take if given the choice.

As it turns out, I do have a hard time staying in one place. Growing up, my family spent a lot of time traveling, whether locally or overseas, and it taught me that a big part of experiencing life to the fullest meant spending it in different communities.

Still, I understand that not everyone loves travel. In fact, my own father is a bit of a homebody, traveling only for work and rarely, nowadays, for pleasure. In his free time, he’s content strolling through a garden, working on his paintings, reading and napping. Not bad, I admit.

So I have to ask myself what, if anything, helped cultivate that desire to get out into the world. And more importantly, I’ve thought about what I learned from traveling as a child, and why I think it’s important for other children to travel too.

On Borrowing Hope

March 9, 2015

I met up with some new friends this weekend, and somehow the topic of “borrowing hope” came up. It’s nothing complicated– simply the idea that when one is low on hope, hope can be borrowed from one’s friends and community. Others who experience more hope can share that hope with those who are downcast.

Hope has been on my mind lately. On a global level, I can say we live in an incredible world, but it is also a world that is broken by violence. Whatever hope we have in this world must lie beyond what we see right before us. And on a personal level, my efforts to simplify my life are reminders of where my hope is. My hope is not in my things and my distractions.

10 Things to Avoid During an Argument

November 6, 2014

Arguments and fights– we’ve all been there. And despite the fact that these are far from enjoyable, we know that every good friendship and relationship has its tense moments. However, many of us also do things that make our arguments counterproductive. Rather than listening carefully, then speaking articulately and kindly, we lash out and seek to win….Continue Reading

The 6 Types Of People You Need At Your Table

Let’s Build A Cafe In Ecuador

Making Room: The Truth About Hospitality

Give Impact: 7 Socially Responsible Gift Ideas

Can we really make a difference?

6 Ways To Stay Connected When Life Gets Busy

5 Principles for Post-College Friendship

Changes in space = changes in friendship

Post-college friendships are different too.

Lessons I’ve Learned From Kids Who Live With Less

Lessons from Kids Who Live With Less

5 Ways to be Generous within Your Financial Limits

The problem with holding off generosity

Generosity is dangerous

7 Superlatives from Our First Year of Marriage

Where were you? A look at global poverty and violence

It’s not fun to talk about violence.

Lessons I Learned While Working in Addiction Recovery

The Back Story…

Nepal Relief: 5 Organizations to Consider

Lessons I Learned From Traveling as a Child

On Borrowing Hope

10 Things to Avoid During an Argument

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