How To Fall In Love With Mornings (and become a morning person)

May 23, 2016

I’ve never met an adult who couldn’t use an extra 5 minutes of sleep. But I’ve also met people who love to wake up early and seize the day. In fact, I never thought that I’d become a morning person, but I have.

You see, I used to believe that mornings and evenings belonged to different people. The early birds actually enjoyed rolling out of bed before sunrise, while night owls found themselves most productive once most others had gone to bed.

What I’ve discovered more recently, though, is the desire to take charge of my days– and weeks– and I’ve realized that it all starts with mornings. Mornings are when we set the tone for the remaining hours. We wake up for whatever is most important to us.

We will wake up for whatever is most important to us. via @daisysrosales

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So, the challenge is to be train ourselves to wake up for that most important thing.

Why I’ve fallen in love with mornings

Note that this article is not just how to become a morning person; it’s about becoming a morning person, and loving it. I’ve come to love that quiet hour I get at home without feeling particularly rushed. I love arriving at work without the urge to inject more caffeine into my arteries. I love having the choice in the morning to decide what is going to matter that day.

In other words, mornings offer benefits that evenings simply don’t. Here are a few:

The opportunity to do your best at something that matters. You won’t be tired from a whole day.
The quietness in which to reflect, plan, pray, and hope for a day that exceeds expectations.
The calmness that is free of unfinished work from a busy day.
The option to examine any stress or emotion before the start of a long day.

Becoming a morning person is not an easy goal to achieve. Like I said, we could all use that extra 5 minutes (or hour) to snooze. But the productivity and intentionality that comes from an early morning can easily offset the late nights that result from lack of planning and procrastination.

Goals for May 2016

May 2, 2016

For as long as I can remember, the month of May has meant several things: my mom’s birthday, piano recitals, and the promise of summer break. May is such a glorious month when it comes to weather, and I’ve always been fond of it. That said, I can hardly believe how quickly this year is flying by. It feels not so long ago that we rang in the New Year in Marrakech, Morocco….Continue Reading

5 Common Stressors To Let Go Of Today

April 25, 2016

Have you ever felt that in every situation, the same feeling of stress shows up to overwhelm? Perhaps the actual circumstances are different– and whatever is at stake varies– but you find yourself in the same hamster wheel time after time. If this is you, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, and still find myself there.

You see, circumstances can change drastically throughout different seasons of life. But as we allow the same stressors to occupy our minds, they will stick around regardless of any physical changes we try to make.

How to Build Daily Gratitude Practices

March 4, 2016

Gratitude: I’m working on it. It seems that outside the month of November where Thanksgiving is nestled, our culture isn’t a particularly grateful one. We’re consumers by economy, and as a result we’re constantly told to want more, acquire more, dream of more. While there is nothing wrong with more— of the right thing, that is– it can often lead us to feel dissatisfied with our now.

Aaron and I recently decided to sponsor a child through Compassion International— a program that connects vulnerable children with people who desire to be a part of those children’s journeys. Compassion’s sponsorship program has been vetted by research after many years in operation, and I am so excited to share more about this partnership once I start learning more. Our little friend’s name is Santiago and he lives in Mexico. He’ll be turning 5 years old in June!

Back to gratitude: it’s hard to cultivate. I find that often the inspiration to be grateful is based on guilt– our lives are so much better than those of others (perhaps my life compared with Santiago’s) and I am supposed to remember to feel grateful for all the conveniences and luxuries I enjoy.

But gratitude really should not require comparing your situation with someone else’s so that yours doesn’t look so bad. Instead, it’s a manner of acknowledging that while nothing is for certain and that we are far less deserving than we seem to think, good things have come our way. Somehow, despite the offenses we’ve committed, the mistakes we’ve made, or the misfortune we’ve experienced, we still live and breathe in a world in which purpose can be found. That’s worth celebrating.

Building practices: why we need habits

If you’ve been around this blog for a while, you know that I’m a proponent of both ideological change and habitual change. Without one, we can’t really have the other. Our actions are shaped by our desires, just as our desires are shaped by our actions.

So when it comes to gratitude, I don’t think we can just wait until we “feel it.” Instead, we can train ourselves into habits that help us see the realities we hope to see– the myriad blessings in our lives, the good work to which we are called, the truth that sets us free.

7 Lies That Keep You From Changing Your Life

February 16, 2016

Have you ever wanted to drastically change something about your life? Perhaps it was a habit you wanted to quit, or a habit you wanted start. Maybe you wanted to finally “grow up” in an area of your life, such as your finances, your health or your relationships. Perhaps you’re seeking to make a transition in your career or interests, but find yourself doing the same thing year after year. Why does that happen?

5 Ways to be More Intentional with Your Time

February 1, 2016

When we were in Morocco, our guide got used to us being 10-15 minutes late to everything. Eventually, he got tired of reassuring us and we got tired of apologizing– so he told us this: “In the West you have watch. In Africa we have time.”

I can still hear his accent and see his charming smile as he calmed his weary guests. Whether he ought to have spoken for the entire continent of Africa was irrelevant– I, on the other hand, am certainly familiar with the culture of rushing, even while on vacation. What is it that we love about efficiency?

The 5 Secrets of Powerful Speech

January 11, 2016

Words are everywhere. We are constantly bombarded with messages, promotions, updates, advertisements and campaigns, and the majority of it will add very little value to our lives. Despite my efforts to subscribe only to useful newsletters, I can easily receive over 50 automated emails a day. The value of the word– written and spoken– is decreasing. I call it verbal inflation.

And as those voices clamor for our attention, we wrestle with our own need to be heard. Words gush out of us when we’re tired, frustrated, passionate, contemplative or even confused.

So how do we reconcile our need for verbal expression with the fact that everyone– including ourselves– experiences a verbal overload on a regular basis? How do we become powerful speakers (or writers) whose words actually matter?

10 Realistic Goals For The End Of 2015

December 2, 2015

Friends might already be mourning the passing of another year and setting hopes and expectations for 2016, but this year isn’t over yet! 2015 still has a good 30 days, and a lot can happen in 30 days.

If you’ve come to the end of this year anxious, tired, and with a little regret, you’re not alone. Time flies and time crawls, but we can feel especially nostalgic in December. Most of us struggled to keep our New Year’s resolutions– and many of us were surprised by unexpected ups and downs this year. For whatever reason, 2015 might not have been all that you hoped it would be.

New Year, Old You?

Somehow we think that January is a good month to change all the bad habits we regret indulging in December. But the truth is, change happens whenever we make it happen— and change is difficult no matter what month we’re in. The reason why years go by and we still haven’t created new habits is perhaps that we’re trying to do it all at once.

There is too much pressure on January, and what we really need to do is to see value in the moments we have right now. I’ve compiled a list of goals I have for the rest of this year (and going into next year). Let’s not lay 2015 to rest just yet!

7 Ways to Make Today Matter

November 16, 2015

In the wake of tragedy– whether personal or global– we find ourselves asking questions that often lie dormant when things are going “just fine.”

The challenge of living in this tension we call the human experience, where we fluctuate between exceeding joy and exceeding despair, is choosing to make meaningful the small slice of agency we have, the domain that is ours alone.

One of the reasons why I’ve become such a champion of courage (I even wrote a short ebook on it here) is that I believe it gives us the ability to live with conviction. We can proclaim anything we want, but courage makes those convictions concrete.

Celebrity Gossip: Why I Don’t Keep Up

November 3, 2015

I didn’t grow up in a family that watched much American television. In fact, my family didn’t watch any television– we owned a TV for years without actually knowing how to turn it on.

As far as I know, there were no truly strong moral objections to television. There was just always something better to do. My dad was a bookworm and my mom was always busy with something, so I rarely saw anyone watching a show or reading a magazine.

More importantly, my lack of exposure to TV– and all its nightly wonders–became a point of embarrassment. In middle school, I didn’t watch the shows that all my classmates were watching and talking about. I didn’t follow sports. I didn’t know who was in, who was out, who was hot, who was not, and who was the next best thing.

As I gained some independence and some Internet savvy, I decided it was time to learn all these names. Whether or not I had seen their movies or shows, I wanted to recognize these public icons that everyone seemed obsessed with. It was as though our lives would not be complete if we weren’t up-to-date on theirs.

How to Practice Self Care This Holiday Season

October 31, 2015

I am so thrilled to have Sheryl from How To Make A Life on the blog today with some tips for self care. The holidays are a busy time, and we need to develop rhythms to practice peace, relaxation, and true enjoyment during this season.

Hello everyone! I’m Sheryl from How to Make A Life. I regularly blog about practicing self care and finding inspiration in your daily life. Today I am thankful Daisy is letting me spend some time with her readers.

For many people, Halloween marks the beginning of the holiday season and one of the busiest times of the year. This time of year is always so much fun but it takes no time at all for our schedules to become full. Sadly, practicing self care becomes an after thought. Today I wanted to share with you a few suggestions for taking care of yourself during the Holiday season.

How to practice self care this holiday season

First, I hope that you have some form of self care routine in your life, if not, I encourage you to check out my suggestions. I thought I would approach self care from three different perspectives throughout the coming months.. The season can be overwhelming but can also be manageable and enjoyed.

Monthly

Put everything on your calendar

This seems like a logical idea. However, we often receive so many invitations and have various deadlines that we often neglect putting everything down on the calendar. Thus, we find ourselves stressed out and double booked.

If you haven’t already, sit down with your calendar and block off the dates of family events, parties, work events, and concerts. Additionally, it is a good idea to plan when you would like to go shopping (for groceries if you are having a dinner party and Christmas shopping). I also encourage you to schedule on self care event per week. This can be scheduling a haircut or mani/pedi or coffee/girls night out with friends.

Putting things down on a calendar will enable you to have a better view of your time. This will also help you with knowing if there are events you need to say no to.

Weekly

Review your calendar

Have things changed? Do you need to reschedule events? What needs to be done this week? Acknowledge that life can change quickly and activities and events may need to be triaged as needed on a weekly basis.

Make a List

Prioritize what needs to be done first. Do you grocery shop once per week? How many nights will you be having dinner at home? It helps to have an idea of what need to be done. I have found that writing the activities down in my calendar helps me more than keeping a mental list.

Daily

Stretch

Make this the first thing you do each morning after getting out of bed. When we become stressed and overbooked, our bodies hold tension. Rather than hitting the alarm clock and rushing out of bed, practice simple stretches such as neck and shoulder rolls, side and back bends. Continue to do this throughout the day when you feel tight. If you need some suggestions for simple stretches throughout the day, visit my pinterest board Stretch.

Deep Breathing

When life becomes hectic, it is not unusual to find yourself holding your breath or breathing shallow. If you find yourself sighing, you are likely holding your breath. Throughout the day, practice slowing inhaling and exhaling. This can be something you practice while waiting in that long line or sitting at a stop light.

Make Time for Yourself

Rushing through the day does not make you accomplish things faster and often creates more havoc. Each day make sure you are taking at least 5 – 10 minutes to just be. Look through a magazine or watch a TV show. Call a friend just to check in.

Practice Gratitude

Research shows that daily acknowledging three items you are thankful for helps to improve your mood and overall health. This time of year can become extremely stressful to the point that slowing down to think about three times each day can be difficult. This is a great time of year to begin the practice of a gratitude journal. Before bed each night think of what has happened that day. There have been days where for me it was someone held the door open or the car in front of me purchased my coffee. Try to look at the day differently but it’s also ok to use some of the same items (like your husband and kids).

These suggestions are not new but when practiced on a regular basis can truly make a difference. If you are looking for additional thoughts on self care, I encourage you to read How to Create a Self Care Box.

I hope by implementing a few of these suggestions you will have a less stressed and more enjoyable holiday season.

3 steps to practice self care throughout the holiday season #livewithintention via @how2makealife

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Do you have a self care routine? What works for you? I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

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4 Mindset Changes That Are Good For Your Body

October 23, 2015

I used to roll my eyes when older people would say, “Youth is wasted on the young.” Now I’m one of those old(er) people.

The past few weeks, my vision has started to get blurry. I have a hard time reading screens especially (which is why my posts have become less frequent), and need to look away or close my eyes after about half a minute of screen time.

I finally made it to the optometrist who told me that the surface of my eyes is chapped. I’m going to have to stop wearing contacts until things heal, which can take a while. Though I don’t love wearing glasses, I’m grateful that my vision should return to normal eventually. Then the thought of permanent damage got me thinking.

We take our health for granted… until we don’t.

I was fortunate enough to not have to experience too many health issues growing up. I would get sick a few times a year, but I would always bounce back.

Losing dependable vision the past few weeks has given me a deeper understanding of what it means to have a physical disability. I also felt convicted for how I’ve taken my eyesight for granted for so many years– it has never failed me, until now.

Choosing to value our bodies

I come from communities where there’s a lot of focus on the mind and heart. We talk about issues of education, spiritual formation, positive thinking, growth mindset, and more; most of our focus is on the immaterial.

But I believe that salvation is holistic. I believe that healing is about mind, body and spirit. Our bodies are just as important as our minds and hearts, even if there’s not nearly as much literature covering physical health as there is covering philosophy, religion, policy and humanity.

Does Your Demeanor Tell Lies?

October 19, 2015

Demeanor, (n.): outward behavior or bearing(e.g., a quiet, somber demeanor). Synonyms: manner, air, attitude, appearance, look.

The past few weeks have been chock full of failures, frustrations, rejections, and struggles. But you wouldn’t know it if you came over to my house for some coffee and a brief conversation. While nothing drastic has happened I’ve faced unusual emotional ups and downs, and even a bit of insomnia from the stress of a few unique situations. And I don’t know that you would ever find out, if I didn’t choose to be open about them.

You see, I’ve spent most of my adult life choosing to be calm and collected. My demeanor somehow tells everyone that I am not just fine— but that I’m thoughtful, humorous, open-hearted. It says that I don’t really need help. It says I’m content. It might even say that I don’t have much to complain about.

But this is far from the truth. Find me after a day of work or fighting maddening traffic, and I’ll have a hard time saying anything positive to anyone. Catch me in that moment when I’m frustrated beyond consolation that something isn’t perfect– and I’ll be anything but composed or collected.

Usually, for better or for worse, I get the chance to collect myself before I interact with other people. By the time I’m in conversation with a friend over coffee, or working with my next student, I’ve got it all under control again.

I’ve written about how perfectionism has stolen joy in my life, and how pushing those high standards on myself has damaged my relationship with others. Eventually I snap– goodbye, eloquent and thoughtful self, and hello, monster.

7 Confessions of a Chronic Problem Solver

October 13, 2015

Someone recently remarked that we are a nation of problem solvers. I would extend that statement to encompass much of Western culture. Our instinctive response to a problem is to seek a solution– the sooner the better.

There’s nothing wrong with solving problems per se, just as there’s nothing wrong with productivity. But there are days when I get so wrapped up in solving all of my problems that I miss the big picture.

You see, problem solving is generally a good thing, but it’s like a god in our culture. Solve people’s problems, and you’ll be appreciated. Solve people’s problems, and you have a business idea. Solve people’s problems, and you’ll receive wide recognition.

Is there any alternative to solving problems? Is it only the lack of privilege or agency that keeps anyone from solving problems? Can there be a problem with problem solving?

I’ve denounced perfectionism, and now I’m about to denounce problem solving. But not the kind of problem solving that empowers the disempowered or heals the wounded– that I’m genuinely behind.I’m more concerned with the culture of problem solving that sees life as nothing but a string of issues waiting to be resolved. The fastidious get-it-done mentality that overshadows all other purposes, visions and dreams.

I’m a problem solver. We all are, in a sense, trained to be. But I’m realizing how similar to perfectionism this problem-solving mentality can be. And even as I continue to meet needs and seek answers in my own life, I want to confess the weaknesses of my solution-minded, bottom-line oriented ways.

7 Confessions of a Chronic Problem Solver

1) I don’t always comprehend the (whole) problem.

A friend used to say, we need to attack the lion, not the flies buzzing around the lion. How many times have I swatted at those flies and missed the lion completely? Furthermore, how tempting it is to settle for a quick fix, only to come back and realize we were hasty to begin with.

I don’t think we need to spend most of our time analyzing the issues, but they deserve some attention, scrutiny and research. Before we dive in with our solutions, we should be asking questions. I know I need to be asking more questions about the problems I see, rather than spewing answers before I’ve taken a closer look.

2) I forget to consider the individuals involved.

Give me a problem to solve, and I’ll steamroll right through emotions, commitments, sentiments and values. I’m quick to diagnose an issue in someone else’s life: she just needs to do more of this, he just needs to stop doing that. It’s easy to stand on the outside and look in, identify the imperfect piece of the puzzle, and try to replace it.

But the boundaries in our lives are hardly so clear-cut. Compartmentalizing can be useful at times, but it’s not always the reality. Treading carefully is difficult when we only have an end goal in mind. The process matters too.

3) I do it to assuage my frustration.

If I can solve a problem, then I don’t have to learn to be patient with it.

What an easy way to deal with the anxiety, anger, frustration or stress we feel when something isn’t the way we want it to be. Problem solving is seen as a good thing in our culture, so we easily hide behind it when what we’re really feeling is rage.

Just as perfectionism is a socially acceptable form of anger, problem solving can be a socially acceptable form of frustration. But in the end, we’re “fixing” things on behalf of our own emotions, not on behalf of others’ wellbeing.

4) I get grandiose notions about my control and influence.

I’m a huge fan of stepping up in situations where most people are afraid to do the right thing. I even wrote an ebook about courage (available here). But what does my automatic problem-solving reflex say about me? Not much, other than that I think I’m the one– the only one– who can solve the problem.

Once we get into the problem-solving groove, we can feel like we have a lot of power. We feel in control again. We might even feel important. While these things may or may not be true, the problem isn’t solved because we feel better about ourselves. It has to be solved when we’re willing and humble enough to take the right step for the right reasons.

5) I don’t leave room for others to step in.

Along with notions of myself as the divine savior of all involved, I leave no room for others to participate. Perhaps it just feels more efficient if one person (I) take over and everyone else watches.

But so much of problem solving in our world today involves broken relationships that need mending. None of us alone can patch up these relational wounds; we need to collaborate, listen, encourage, and find our own place in the midst.

6) I close myself off to long-term gains.

No one enjoys living in situations less than ideal, but sometimes they can bring forth good things. Patience is fostered in challenging circumstances. Hope is needed when things are not the way they should be. Generosity becomes valuable when not everyone is living in excess. There are good things that come from solutions that are not quick-fixes, but target the long-run.

7) I despair before transformation has time to occur.

In our digital age, we expect problems to be solved faster than before. With a click we can send words and images all over the world. We can share information within seconds. We can even give money internationally with a few swipes on our tablets.

But human beings don’t change nearly so fast. When it comes to people, we need to play that long game. We need to trust that it can take weeks, months, years or even decades for someone to overcome a hurdle. We must continue to seek ways to breathe new life into those who suffer, even if they don’t go from hurt to healed overnight.

My problem solving tendency is to diagnose, prescribe, and proceed to the next challenge. The art of transforming people and transforming communities, however, requires the slow, steady and persistent involvement that most problem solvers have no patience for.

The bottom line: there’s more to life than fixing

As a culture, we like numbers, steps, and practical methods for ridding our lives of challenges big and small. And there are truly many challenges that are easily overcome that way.

But, if you’re a problem-solver like me, seek more than to solve every problem you perceive and move on to the next. Seek to build as you solve. Seek to include as you conquer. Seek to trust, hope, and believe that you are not the entire solution, only one part of it.

There’s more to life than problem solving. 7 confessions of a chronic problem solver via…

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Are you a problem solver? How will you seek to address life’s challenges with more intention?

Why You Need To Choose A Lifestyle (and not just a career)

October 9, 2015

As diplomatic as my writing voice (usually) is, I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum when it comes to lifestyle choices. And by that I mean that I’ve rarely bent to the culture around me.

Being naturally introspective and determined has led me to be intentional about my steps from a young age. In each season of my life, I’ve carried on with decisions that have impressed, disappointed, shocked, amused, or even challenged the people in my life.

Why I’ve fallen in love with mornings

Building practices: why we need habits

New Year, Old You?

How to practice self care this holiday season

Monthly

Put everything on your calendar

Weekly

Review your calendar

Make a List

Daily

Stretch

Deep Breathing

Make Time for Yourself

Practice Gratitude

Do you have a self care routine? What works for you? I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

Blog | Twitter | Facebook | Pinterest | Instagram

We take our health for granted… until we don’t.

Choosing to value our bodies

7 Confessions of a Chronic Problem Solver

1) I don’t always comprehend the (whole) problem.

2) I forget to consider the individuals involved.

3) I do it to assuage my frustration.

4) I get grandiose notions about my control and influence.

5) I don’t leave room for others to step in.

6) I close myself off to long-term gains.

7) I despair before transformation has time to occur.

The bottom line: there’s more to life than fixing

Are you a problem solver? How will you seek to address life’s challenges with more intention?

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