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6 Indispensable Habits To Schedule Into Your Day

September 30, 2015

I’m becoming more and more aware that habits are built with intentionality and discipline. There’s a part of me that knows what I should do and desires those good things, while there’s another part of me that proves that those desires aren’t quite strong enough.

You see, we are creatures of habit, but we are not creatures who easily build new habits. We much more quickly fall out of discipline than into it, and we’ll much more readily discuss what we should be doing than actually do it.

I’ve been convicted about the changes I’ve been intending to make to my lifestyle, especially last week. I spent most of last week at home alone because Aaron was at a conference. Without my usual accountability partner and best friend around, my daily rhythms fell into a bit of disarray. So now I’m determined to cultivate these habits for good– and to commit to them solidly enough that I can maintain them even if no one else is around to keep me in check. 

6 Indispensable Habits To Schedule Into Your Day …Continue Reading

40 Commentsself-improvement, simplify, Uncategorized courage, intention, simplify

10 Things You Should Never Do To De-Stress (and what to do instead)

August 31, 2015

We love to say this: “I need to (fill in the blank). It will help me de-stress.”

Usually, we fill that blank with some kind of guilty pleasure: shopping, overeating, drinking, binge-watching television, Facebook stalking, Pinterest scrolling, and more.

Last Thursday, I wrote a post about why we need real hobbies and not just side-hustles, but I don’t want the conversation to end there.

When asked how to eliminate stress, many people will tell you to do any number of the activities listed above. Why do we think that stress is something an indulgent activity can eliminate– like an eraser on a misspelled word?

We’ve somehow been fooled into thinking that a momentary pleasure can lift burdens off of our shoulders, as though any intentional action would fail to actually address the problem.

It’s what I call the “treat yourself” mentality.

10 things you should never do to eliminate stress- and what you can do instead …Continue Reading

57 Commentsself-improvement, simplify, Uncategorized courage, minimalism, stress

Why You Need A True Hobby (and not just a side-hustle)

August 27, 2015

Growing up, I never understood what it meant to just enjoy an activity. I was very performance-oriented, so I couldn’t comprehend why a person might be internally motivated enough to pursue a hobby– for the sheer joy of it.

This past year, I spent a lot of time blogging here on Simplicity Relished. I wrote several posts at the time defining the purpose of my blog– a hobby and creative outlet so that I would not neglect my writing skills.

Here comes the confession: I don’t think blogging was ever my true hobby. I cared too much about how my blog was received. I cared about its readership, and I cared about my audience. At the very least, I was not just in it for my own enjoyment. I was concerned with numbers, opinions, reactions, and relationships.

But the more important lesson here is this: my general obsession with excellence made it challenging for me to find a relaxing activity– where I could be completely at ease.

Why you need a true hobby and not just a side hustle …Continue Reading

60 Commentsself-improvement, Uncategorized career, courage, hobby

7 Reasons You Don’t Feel Influential (and how to fix it)

August 24, 2015

Influence is a powerful phenomenon.

We all know of greatly influential people who use their influence either to better serve others, or to draw greater attention to themselves. Influence is desirable because it’s a clear indication that something we’re doing matters to people– perhaps even to people we don’t know in person.

But the difficulty with influence is that it’s morally neutral. Simply put, influence can be “good” or “bad”.

Yet, before we can even decide what kind of influence we want to have on others, we find ourselves wondering if we have any influence at all.

We wonder whether our everyday choices matter. We wonder whether our encouragement or wisdom falls on deaf ears.

We wonder whether our art is considered beautiful to anyone other than our mom.

And we wonder whether one day we’ll be able to look back and point to people whose lives are better because of something we did. Desiring influence is natural; finding it– and using it well– can be tough.

7 Reasons You Dont Feel Influential - and how to fix that

Redefining influence

…Continue Reading

29 Commentsself-improvement, Uncategorized community, courage, generosity, influence

3 Essential Keys To Everyday Courage

August 22, 2015

summer telban- be of good courage

It always seems like I have to work harder and fight longer than everyone else around me for what I love and want to do.

The past few months have been tiring and sadly a bit discouraging for me. I graduated college with an Associate degree in Bible and have watched everyone I went to college with for the past four years start to get real jobs in their fields….Continue Reading

18 Commentsself-improvement, Uncategorized brave, courage, faith

Why comparison is NOT the true thief of joy (and what really is)

August 11, 2015

Many well-intentioned people have recited the adage, Comparison is the thief of joy. I myself have been one of those people.

However, I’ve realized that this adage scratches at the surface of a much deeper issue.

I do not believe that comparison has to steal joy. The mere act of realizing somebody is taller than I am does not immediately make me discontent with my own height. Did I compare? Yes. Did I lose joy? No.

This is one of the dilemmas that we often have as individuals, and as a society: we blame the wrong source for our woes. Or, as one of my best friends used to say, we need to attack the lion, not the flies buzzing around the lion. 

Here’s what I’m getting at. The mere act of comparison is simply observing, perhaps taking stock of, the differences between one thing and another.

We compare all the time. We compare deals at the grocery store. We compare phone plans. We compare career options. We compare different pairs of shoes to decide which one to purchase.

Comparison is an important act of discernment. If we weren’t able to compare, we would be unable to make wise decisions.

Comparison is an important act of discernment, and NOT the true thief of joy. Find out what is. via…

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Why comparison is not the true thief of joy- and what really is …Continue Reading

46 Commentsself-improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized

7 Days of Courage: The Story Behind My New Ebook!

August 10, 2015

So, the word is out! I wrote a short ebook which I’ve already shared with my email letter subscribers. Today I want to make sure you have the opportunity to receive it for free in your inbox, and to tell you a bit more about it.

The book is titled 7 Days of Courage: Finding Brave In Your Everyday Life. It’s a workbook that reflects on seven aspects of practicing courage, with practical applications for each day of the week.

I hope that 7 Days of Courage will come in handy whenever we feel the need to work through some fear, or when we are about to face an important challenge. Courage will hopefully expand your definition of what it means to be brave, and show you little opportunities throughout your everyday life to choose courage.

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Why Courage?

…Continue Reading

22 Commentsself-improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized courage, generosity

6 Questions to Ask Before Making Big Decisions

August 6, 2015

Until our early 20s, many life decisions are made for us.

We’re told to attend school, we’re told to do our best, we’re told what’s socially acceptable and what’s not– we’re raised by our families, our friends, and our society.

So when it’s time to make a big decision later in life, we’re often found unprepared. I’ve never had to choose between two things in which one is not clearly the answer, we realize. What do we do now?

The truth is, wise decision-making is a skill that requires practice. It feels even more intimidating to practice that skill when your job, relationship, education or passion is at stake.

How can we practice on reality?

Here’s the tough realization we all have to come to: when there’s no absolute dichotomy of the moral vs. immoral decision (or legal vs. illegal decision), what we choose comes down to wisdom.

And we gain wisdom in practice, in seeking counsel, and in choosing to grow as human beings.

6 questions to ask before making a big decision

A story from childhood

When I was in 5th grade, I applied to attend a different middle school. One of the application questions was: If you could invent anything, what would it be?…Continue Reading

27 Commentsself-improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized courage, fear, future, simplicity, wisdom

10 Simple Ways to Be Brave Today

July 15, 2015

We often talk about courage on a grand scale: the courage to chase our dreams; the courage to live simply; the courage to challenge the unsolvable problems of our day.

But how do we muster up that courage, when we live within the confines of our obligations daily? Why not learn to intentionally choose courage everyday?

I’m currently staying with a couple who run a community program for children in a low-income neighborhood in Ecuador. I’ve been so inspired by their quest to bless and nourish this neighborhood, where even some cab drivers in the city refuse to come. That’s identifiable courage.

Our neighborhood in Quito, Ecuador
Our neighborhood in Quito, Ecuador

But how do they do this on a daily basis? They make brave choices– both great and small. A momentary decision can be minute in comparison, but nonetheless courageous.

I’ve decided to start practicing more courage in my daily life. It’s not everyday that I get to travel to places like this and drink in the goodness of serving others. When I’m working or tending to other obligations, it feels like I don’t really need courage. So I made a list of things you and I can do– on practically any day– to be brave. And I focused on relationships and service, since those are the areas where we can regularly choose courage, and do the most good….Continue Reading

28 Commentsself-improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized

Why Perfectionism Might Be Stealing Your Joy

June 15, 2015

My definition of perfectionism has gotten a whole lot bigger.

I used to think that perfectionism meant looking good all the time, performing well at everything, and creating an impenetrable facade of, well, perfection.

As it turns out, perfectionism is a lot more about the self than anything else. It’s about perception, will, and inflexibility. It’s driven by all kinds of forces that are generally harmful when taken too far.

Coming to terms with my perfectionism was no easy task. After all, once admitting to perfectionism, one is no longer perfect. Ironic, isn’t it?

But, was I willing to confess my need to be perfect– really, to have my way– in order to experience more freedom? Can perfectionism be traded in for more joy?

As I continue journeying through marriage, through this confusing twenty-something season, and through life in my less-than-favorite city, I am realizing that perfectionism is best lost as soon as possible. And I’ve come to that conclusion through a series of revelations.

5 reasons why perfectionism might be stealing your joy …Continue Reading

55 Commentsself-improvement, spirituality, Uncategorized

6 Ways To Stay Curious (no matter what job you have)

June 3, 2015

This is a sad truth. Most millennials I know are either bored or stressed with respect to their jobs.

One of the hardest lessons I learned after graduating college is that no one is going to force you to stay curious. If we are to maintain a sharp intellect and desire to learn, we have to make it happen ourselves.

It has been said many times that higher education extends our youth: those sweet years spent poring over books and sweating over words end up being some of the most mentally rigorous years of our lives. Also some of the best.

But what if we can stay curious, no matter what our jobs are? What if, despite the challenges that we face to pay the bills, we can keep even just a sliver of that youthful curiosity that was once our sole occupation?

The thing I love about staying curious is that it keeps our options open. Maybe we don’t have to be bored or stressed forever. Maybe we don’t have to feel stuck. If we continue to hone our ability to learn, then possibilities increase.

6 ways to stay curious no matter what job you have  simplicity relished …Continue Reading

42 Commentsself-improvement, Uncategorized

Advice For My 18-Year-Old Self

June 2, 2015

advice to my 18 year old self 3

I thought I knew what I was doing when I was 18.

But, until Jenny at Stuff I Love shared the advice she would give herself at 18, I had not thought about the painful– and somewhat endearing– naïveté that plagued me then, or what I would say to myself if I could.

We can all get angry at our mean, hormonal, insecure, small-minded and selfish teenage selves, but I think the transition into adulthood is hard for everyone. Perhaps I should cut myself a little slack.

And yet, I also wish I could more often see age 18 done right. I wish today’s 18-year-olds could be encouraged in ways more specific to their needs. High school graduations are filled with platitudes such as “Dream Big!” and “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” but don’t most of us know that life is so much more than that?

Instead of further evaluating my 18-year-old self, I spent some time thinking back to that season of my life. I had graduated high school and was preparing to spend a year working in addiction recovery (more on that here). I was also college-bound, obsessed with volunteering, afraid to look stupid, committed to Jesus, and foolishly in love with the boy who would become my husband. Needless to say, it was a dynamic if not dramatic period.

What are some truths I could have held onto? In other words, what are some lessons I’ve learned as an adult?

advice for my 18 year old self 4

Advice For My 18-Year-Old Self

1) You are a human becoming.

Whoever first replaced “human being” with “human becoming” had serious wisdom. We are constantly moving, shifting, and progressing– the direction in which we can only choose. In all my identity crises I wish I truly realized this, that we don’t just simply exist, we become….Continue Reading

35 Commentsself-improvement, Uncategorized

10 Reasons to Toss FOMO Out the Window

May 27, 2015

US Travel 5

FOMO: the fear of missing out. The popularity of this acronym has always puzzled me.

I suppose that, as a generation, we are more susceptible to FOMO than any other. Three seconds on our smartphones and we can ogle someone else’s photographs in great detail. We can watch their videos. We can even shop their closets.

If we stopped at admiration and support, then this global interconnectedness could be a good thing. But, when people begin to cite FOMO as the reason to make a decision, I start to wonder. Is fear a good motivator? Has it ever been?

The Truth about Fear

What exactly is fear? The words “emotion” or “mood” don’t quite capture it.

Fear has power. It can paralyze, it can mobilize, it can even delude and corrupt.

Fear is inspired by the dread of the worst possible scenario. It ruminates in the recesses of our minds, and eventually comes hurtling towards the center.

And the problem is, fear can be fed. Like a fire, it is often kindled by the very intention of putting it out.

How exactly do we feed our fears? We obey them. We listen to them. We let them control us. And as we do those things, our fears grow. Slake their thirst for attention and their appetite will only become more formidable.

instagram fake 2

source…Continue Reading

51 Commentsself-improvement, Uncategorized

6 Ways to Stay Focused & Achieve Your Short-Term Goals

April 28, 2015

If you’re like me, then you’re just now realizing that we are nearing the end of April. If you’re a lot like me, then you’re wondering where a third of this year has gone.

The worst part is, we can look around and see other people who know exactly where this year has gone: they’ve finished projects, learned a new skill, garnered recognition, lost weight, or otherwise done something awesome. Somehow, they’ve left the rest of us in the dust.

So much for comparison. The truth is, I have done several significant things this year, and so have you, probably. But what are some ways that we can really make progress on the goals we have? How can we overcome those doubts that paralyze us, to take even just one step closer to where we want to be?

It comes down to several simple, fool-proof principles. Regardless your goals, there are ways to make them more of a reality, and there’s NO excuse not to start today!

6 ways to stay focused & achieve your short-term goals …Continue Reading

26 Commentsself-improvement, Uncategorized focus, prioritize, work

Monday Inspiration: Bloom Where You’re Planted.

April 13, 2015

It’s so easy for me to think that I need all the perfect conditions in order to thrive. I have often told myself that if one aspect of my life were improved, then I would excel, be content, or achieve everything that I wanted to.

But the truth is, conditions are rarely perfect. Our lives are filled with difficult compromises and attachments that keep us from that pure sense of “freedom”–an elusive concept that, at least for me, really means a universe at which I am at the center.

Bloom where you're planted

Lately I have had a difficult time with desiring to do things that are just not possible for me right now. I’ve said to myself, if only I could… then I’ll be happy. Then things will be perfect.

The fact is, however, that we are planted in our circumstances without having to be enslaved to them. While circumstances can change, we are placed in our current location, given our current means, and we must thrive in that. We can choose to thrive in that. Our circumstances may dictate certain aspects of our daily lives, but they definitely do not dictate all aspects.

I was so encouraged to come upon these wildflowers (pictured above) during our hike in Utah. Their brilliant purple was an astonishing hue against the dusty reds and soft greens of the desert landscape. Despite harsh conditions, they bloomed where they were planted. 

This week I am determined to look for ways in which I can thrive in my circumstances. True freedom, as I’m learning, lies in the decision not to be hindered by those things we cannot change.

Happy Monday, everyone!

34 Commentsself-improvement, spirituality

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Hi! I’m Daisy.

Simplicity Relished
Welcome to Simplicity Relished, where I share about my minimalist lifestyle and thirst for adventure. I believe in paring down, choosing courage, giving generously, and traveling often. If you agree that the best things in life aren't things, then grab a cup of coffee and make yourself at home!Let's be friends.

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