How to Practice Self Care This Holiday Season

October 31, 2015

I am so thrilled to have Sheryl from How To Make A Life on the blog today with some tips for self care. The holidays are a busy time, and we need to develop rhythms to practice peace, relaxation, and true enjoyment during this season.

Hello everyone! I’m Sheryl from How to Make A Life. I regularly blog about practicing self care and finding inspiration in your daily life. Today I am thankful Daisy is letting me spend some time with her readers.

For many people, Halloween marks the beginning of the holiday season and one of the busiest times of the year. This time of year is always so much fun but it takes no time at all for our schedules to become full. Sadly, practicing self care becomes an after thought. Today I wanted to share with you a few suggestions for taking care of yourself during the Holiday season.

How to practice self care this holiday season

First, I hope that you have some form of self care routine in your life, if not, I encourage you to check out my suggestions. I thought I would approach self care from three different perspectives throughout the coming months.. The season can be overwhelming but can also be manageable and enjoyed.

Monthly

Put everything on your calendar

This seems like a logical idea. However, we often receive so many invitations and have various deadlines that we often neglect putting everything down on the calendar. Thus, we find ourselves stressed out and double booked.

If you haven’t already, sit down with your calendar and block off the dates of family events, parties, work events, and concerts. Additionally, it is a good idea to plan when you would like to go shopping (for groceries if you are having a dinner party and Christmas shopping). I also encourage you to schedule on self care event per week. This can be scheduling a haircut or mani/pedi or coffee/girls night out with friends.

Putting things down on a calendar will enable you to have a better view of your time. This will also help you with knowing if there are events you need to say no to.

Weekly

Review your calendar

Have things changed? Do you need to reschedule events? What needs to be done this week? Acknowledge that life can change quickly and activities and events may need to be triaged as needed on a weekly basis.

Make a List

Prioritize what needs to be done first. Do you grocery shop once per week? How many nights will you be having dinner at home? It helps to have an idea of what need to be done. I have found that writing the activities down in my calendar helps me more than keeping a mental list.

Daily

Stretch

Make this the first thing you do each morning after getting out of bed. When we become stressed and overbooked, our bodies hold tension. Rather than hitting the alarm clock and rushing out of bed, practice simple stretches such as neck and shoulder rolls, side and back bends. Continue to do this throughout the day when you feel tight. If you need some suggestions for simple stretches throughout the day, visit my pinterest board Stretch.

Deep Breathing

When life becomes hectic, it is not unusual to find yourself holding your breath or breathing shallow. If you find yourself sighing, you are likely holding your breath. Throughout the day, practice slowing inhaling and exhaling. This can be something you practice while waiting in that long line or sitting at a stop light.

Make Time for Yourself

Rushing through the day does not make you accomplish things faster and often creates more havoc. Each day make sure you are taking at least 5 – 10 minutes to just be. Look through a magazine or watch a TV show. Call a friend just to check in.

Practice Gratitude

Research shows that daily acknowledging three items you are thankful for helps to improve your mood and overall health. This time of year can become extremely stressful to the point that slowing down to think about three times each day can be difficult. This is a great time of year to begin the practice of a gratitude journal. Before bed each night think of what has happened that day. There have been days where for me it was someone held the door open or the car in front of me purchased my coffee. Try to look at the day differently but it’s also ok to use some of the same items (like your husband and kids).

These suggestions are not new but when practiced on a regular basis can truly make a difference. If you are looking for additional thoughts on self care, I encourage you to read How to Create a Self Care Box.

I hope by implementing a few of these suggestions you will have a less stressed and more enjoyable holiday season.

3 steps to practice self care throughout the holiday season #livewithintention via @how2makealife

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Do you have a self care routine? What works for you? I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas.

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7 Confessions of a Chronic Problem Solver

October 13, 2015

Someone recently remarked that we are a nation of problem solvers. I would extend that statement to encompass much of Western culture. Our instinctive response to a problem is to seek a solution– the sooner the better.

There’s nothing wrong with solving problems per se, just as there’s nothing wrong with productivity. But there are days when I get so wrapped up in solving all of my problems that I miss the big picture.

You see, problem solving is generally a good thing, but it’s like a god in our culture. Solve people’s problems, and you’ll be appreciated. Solve people’s problems, and you have a business idea. Solve people’s problems, and you’ll receive wide recognition.

Is there any alternative to solving problems? Is it only the lack of privilege or agency that keeps anyone from solving problems? Can there be a problem with problem solving?

I’ve denounced perfectionism, and now I’m about to denounce problem solving. But not the kind of problem solving that empowers the disempowered or heals the wounded– that I’m genuinely behind.I’m more concerned with the culture of problem solving that sees life as nothing but a string of issues waiting to be resolved. The fastidious get-it-done mentality that overshadows all other purposes, visions and dreams.

I’m a problem solver. We all are, in a sense, trained to be. But I’m realizing how similar to perfectionism this problem-solving mentality can be. And even as I continue to meet needs and seek answers in my own life, I want to confess the weaknesses of my solution-minded, bottom-line oriented ways.

7 Confessions of a Chronic Problem Solver

1) I don’t always comprehend the (whole) problem.

A friend used to say, we need to attack the lion, not the flies buzzing around the lion. How many times have I swatted at those flies and missed the lion completely? Furthermore, how tempting it is to settle for a quick fix, only to come back and realize we were hasty to begin with.

I don’t think we need to spend most of our time analyzing the issues, but they deserve some attention, scrutiny and research. Before we dive in with our solutions, we should be asking questions. I know I need to be asking more questions about the problems I see, rather than spewing answers before I’ve taken a closer look.

2) I forget to consider the individuals involved.

Give me a problem to solve, and I’ll steamroll right through emotions, commitments, sentiments and values. I’m quick to diagnose an issue in someone else’s life: she just needs to do more of this, he just needs to stop doing that. It’s easy to stand on the outside and look in, identify the imperfect piece of the puzzle, and try to replace it.

But the boundaries in our lives are hardly so clear-cut. Compartmentalizing can be useful at times, but it’s not always the reality. Treading carefully is difficult when we only have an end goal in mind. The process matters too.

3) I do it to assuage my frustration.

If I can solve a problem, then I don’t have to learn to be patient with it.

What an easy way to deal with the anxiety, anger, frustration or stress we feel when something isn’t the way we want it to be. Problem solving is seen as a good thing in our culture, so we easily hide behind it when what we’re really feeling is rage.

Just as perfectionism is a socially acceptable form of anger, problem solving can be a socially acceptable form of frustration. But in the end, we’re “fixing” things on behalf of our own emotions, not on behalf of others’ wellbeing.

4) I get grandiose notions about my control and influence.

I’m a huge fan of stepping up in situations where most people are afraid to do the right thing. I even wrote an ebook about courage (available here). But what does my automatic problem-solving reflex say about me? Not much, other than that I think I’m the one– the only one– who can solve the problem.

Once we get into the problem-solving groove, we can feel like we have a lot of power. We feel in control again. We might even feel important. While these things may or may not be true, the problem isn’t solved because we feel better about ourselves. It has to be solved when we’re willing and humble enough to take the right step for the right reasons.

5) I don’t leave room for others to step in.

Along with notions of myself as the divine savior of all involved, I leave no room for others to participate. Perhaps it just feels more efficient if one person (I) take over and everyone else watches.

But so much of problem solving in our world today involves broken relationships that need mending. None of us alone can patch up these relational wounds; we need to collaborate, listen, encourage, and find our own place in the midst.

6) I close myself off to long-term gains.

No one enjoys living in situations less than ideal, but sometimes they can bring forth good things. Patience is fostered in challenging circumstances. Hope is needed when things are not the way they should be. Generosity becomes valuable when not everyone is living in excess. There are good things that come from solutions that are not quick-fixes, but target the long-run.

7) I despair before transformation has time to occur.

In our digital age, we expect problems to be solved faster than before. With a click we can send words and images all over the world. We can share information within seconds. We can even give money internationally with a few swipes on our tablets.

But human beings don’t change nearly so fast. When it comes to people, we need to play that long game. We need to trust that it can take weeks, months, years or even decades for someone to overcome a hurdle. We must continue to seek ways to breathe new life into those who suffer, even if they don’t go from hurt to healed overnight.

My problem solving tendency is to diagnose, prescribe, and proceed to the next challenge. The art of transforming people and transforming communities, however, requires the slow, steady and persistent involvement that most problem solvers have no patience for.

The bottom line: there’s more to life than fixing

As a culture, we like numbers, steps, and practical methods for ridding our lives of challenges big and small. And there are truly many challenges that are easily overcome that way.

But, if you’re a problem-solver like me, seek more than to solve every problem you perceive and move on to the next. Seek to build as you solve. Seek to include as you conquer. Seek to trust, hope, and believe that you are not the entire solution, only one part of it.

There’s more to life than problem solving. 7 confessions of a chronic problem solver via…

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Are you a problem solver? How will you seek to address life’s challenges with more intention?

Fall Capsule Wardrobe: 33 Essentials For 3 Months

October 5, 2015

Here it is, finally: my fall 2015 capsule wardrobe! This is the first fall capsule I’ve put together, and I’m so excited about every piece that is in it.

Fall is a tricky season to dress for, especially here in Southern California. This week we’ll be experiencing 90-degree weather, while 3 months from now we will be “shivering” at temperatures closer to 50 or 60 degrees. How does anyone dress for such a wide range?

6 Indispensable Habits To Schedule Into Your Day

September 30, 2015

I’m becoming more and more aware that habits are built with intentionality and discipline. There’s a part of me that knows what I should do and desires those good things, while there’s another part of me that proves that those desires aren’t quite strong enough.

You see, we are creatures of habit, but we are not creatures who easily build new habits. We much more quickly fall out of discipline than into it, and we’ll much more readily discuss what we should be doing than actually do it.

I’ve been convicted about the changes I’ve been intending to make to my lifestyle, especially last week. I spent most of last week at home alone because Aaron was at a conference. Without my usual accountability partner and best friend around, my daily rhythms fell into a bit of disarray. So now I’m determined to cultivate these habits for good– and to commit to them solidly enough that I can maintain them even if no one else is around to keep me in check.

5 Things I Wish I Knew in my 20s

September 12, 2015

Today I’m happy to welcome Angela from Setting My Intention to share an important post about life in our twenties! Angela has been an inspiration to me, so I’m so excited to share her post with you!

I love the enthusiasm and values driven choices that people like Daisy and her peers are living by. It has been twenty years since I graduated college and I’ve found myself reflecting on choices and advice that I would have appreciated receiving as a young graduate.

Back to the Future

If I could go back in time and give my 23 year old self advice, here is what I would tell her:

7 Essential Steps to Simplify Your Life This Fall

September 8, 2015

With Labor Day Weekend behind us and school starting up everywhere, autumn will be upon us soon. Here comes the season that launches a whole new gamut of celebrations, commitments, and obligations that vie for our time, money, and attention. If we aren’t intentional about it, this season has the potential to fill us up and overwhelm– leaving us exhausted and over-committed just in time for the holidays.

Chaotic seasons come in waves, but busy-ness can make itself at home in our lives without any signs of leaving. If your goal, like mine, is to live simply and purposefully, then we need to guard against the notion that busy-ness is just a normal way of life.

Attending to various commitments is not inherently bad; it’s committing without purpose that can make us feel out-of-control. Autumn is when most of us start expecting busy-ness to come knocking, but I think that if we choose to, we can still keep our priorities in sight. Just because the seasons are changing does not mean we have to get lost in it.

The seasons are changing but we don’t have to bow to chaos. 7 steps to simplify your life this fall…

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The truth about simple living is that sometimes you and I have to make unpopular choices. In a world where most everyone bites off more than they can chew and then proceed to barely come through, we must be different in order to achieve different results.

This fall, I’m continuing to simplify various areas of my life. I believe that our careers and achievements matter less than our purposes and priorities. Because even if we haven’t reached our goals yet, or if we find ourselves in an otherwise less-than-ideal circumstance, we can still choose intentionality. We can still live by our core commitments.

Want to simplify your life with me? Here are 7 steps I’m taking.

10 Simple Living Tips For Millennials

July 29, 2015

We millennials are starting to get a reputation.

And it’s a conflicting one.

On the one hand, we’re known for our courage, determination, and desire for justice in this world. On the other, we’re noted for being constantly distracted, absorbed in our technology, and unable to focus on one thing at a time.

The truth is, I see both in my own life and the lives of others in our generation. We’re more interconnected globally than generations past, opening our eyes to the biggest issues of our day. It’s not news to us that the world is large and diverse; it’s our reality. At the same time, this access to global information at the tip of our fingers leaves us distracted. Some of us never knew our neighbors growing up, or the feel of a local community gathering.

Some people think that this over-connected, image-driven culture is a problem we need to solve. I think it’s a reality we need to accept and use for good.

So where do we start?

Clutter-free Travel: 5 Tips for Shopping Abroad

July 23, 2015

It’s sad but true: we’re often emotionally attached to the clutter that fills our homes. That’s why we’ve held onto those things for years–they hold some meaning and memories we’re afraid we’ll lose otherwise.

Travel is a huge culprit when it comes to accumulating stuff. Nothing captures this reality better than the term, souvenir shopping.

And why should we be surprised? Whenever we travel, we carry a tiny percentage of our belongings with us– giving us the illusion that we don’t already have too many things at home.

Plus, part of the travel experience for many of us is to shop at our destination. For better or for worse, shopping is often equated with touring, and it’s hard to resist.

Compounding this dilemma is the fact that local industries often rely on foreign tourists to bring money into their small economies. Artisans, restauranteurs, guides and hotel owners “need” us for business.

So how do we travel in a manner that cherishes those experiences without lugging home a suitcase full of things we don’t need?

5 Tips For Clutter-Free Travel

Plant Parenthood: How To Avoid Killing Your Succulents

May 4, 2015

I might be writing this post prematurely.

I love indoor plants, I really do– but you would never know it by looking at my track record with them. I have a knack for killing succulents.

Once, my husband (then boyfriend) sent me 30 succulents to share with friends when we were dating long-distance. I proceeded to give out as many as I could, and then somehow killed the ones that stayed with me.

Anyway, we recently went to a local garden shop and I decided to consult an expert on the matter. I’ve grown tired of killing plants. It shouldn’t be rocket science, but maybe, to some, it is.

In an effort to redeem my failures, I asked the garden shop staff a thousand questions. I asked him for recommendations on potting, watering, sunlight, and fertilizer.

As it turns out, succulents are not as low-maintenance as they’re often marketed to seem, but they’re not impossible to care for, either. Here’s what I’ve gleaned.