I just got back from the first baby shower I’ve ever attended. The woman of honor was my new friend Lindsay, who is about to have her second daughter! While some of us who attended had never had children, there were a few experienced moms there who gladly shared some wisdom. Forgive yourself for letting go and allow the older child to watch TV, one mom said. Another one chimed in, don’t compare yourself to others or to who you used to be; it’s okay to not be able to do what you used to. Dirty dishes left overnight aren’t that bad. And finally another, Keep those date nights for your marriage and also some time to yourself.
Wow. If I hadn’t already been intimidated by motherhood, I certainly am now. And having adored my own mother since the day I was born, I realize what an incredible job it must be. We often talk about motherhood as an issue of work/life balance or sharing the parenting role with the father, but those of us who’ve not been there can hardly fathom the sacrifice that is called for. And while I realize that I’m likely the billionth person to say this, good parenting is an unbelievably self-effacing, self-sacrificing job– and also a great honor. We say this again and again because it is so true.
I was so happy to have my mom walk down the aisle before me at my wedding, holding a candle as a symbol of leading the way for me. She was brave throughout my childhood and she is brave today! I loved being able to celebrate that moment with her by my side.
Our relationships with our parents inevitably change over time. We develop independence and eventually determine for ourselves who we desire to be and how we want to live. And yet, if we’re fortunate, we maintain ties to our parents that last many seasons beyond our childhood. Parenthood slowly because friendship; and for me, there’s always that enduring admiration.
As I’m sure so many other women and men would testify, I would not be who I am without my mother. I love you, Mom!
{Check out last week’s wedding snapshots: entrances and exits}
