We like to live life “to the max”. And in this to-the-max lifestyle, our tendency is to fill all empty spaces with something– anything.
We like to fill silences with words, music or television. We like to fill empty buffet plates with mounds of food. We fill our closets with clothing, our shelves with books and our walls with decorations.
And we fill our free time with activities, commitments and obligations. Sometimes we even feel guilty for not filling up our time. As though it means we’re lazy.
But, despite the rush of importance we feel when we open up our Google Calendars and see more color than white blanks, we might be missing out on something every privileged human should enjoy: free time.
Most of us are blessed with extra time outside of working, eating and sleeping. Whether there’s a lot of it or only a little, our leisure time is precious.
Used well, our free time can rejuvenate us. It can allow us to reflect on the week that has gone by. We can eat slowly at meal times rather than inhaling our food between meetings. We can have long, deeply satisfying conversations with people we love.
Unstructured free time is an incredible weapon against stress. When we intentionally schedule unstructured free time on a regular basis, we’re much less likely to feel overwhelmed. When that chunk of free time arrives, we suddenly realize, this is the time during which I am obligated to do absolutely nothing. So what strikes my fancy?
Of course, we can squander it by staring at our phones or scrolling through social media. But we can also, with a bit of creativity, do things that make us relaxed. Or excited. Or exceedingly happy.
Right now, I enjoy regular unstructured free time every week. I don’t work on Sundays; in fact we don’t tend to commit to anything on Sundays. That way, we’re free to spend time with friends, make our favorite dishes, enjoy the sunshine, or read those books we’ve been meaning to get to.
And, while I know that others are rushing off to do stuff, I’m okay with doing less. Because when Sunday rolls around, I feel this almost paradoxical combination of excitement and relief. Can one be excited for nothing? Yes, I believe so.
5 Benefits of Unstructured Free Time
1) You can meet a personal need that has been put off for a while. Whether it means getting outside, taking a nap, seeing a friend or doing something creative, this time can be spent as it needs to be spent. There’s nothing in your way to keep you from it.
2) You will feel less busy. Even if we still have a thousand things on our plate, even just one empty block of time can help us recuperate. And we won’t feel as though we are constantly in demand or rushing around.
3) You realize the world continues to operate when you’re not working. This was a lesson in humility for me– and also a huge relief. Remembering that the world does not need me to be constantly “productive” allows me to breathe, take a break, and accept my limits.
4) You can make changes to your schedule. Intentionally not committing myself has given me time to think about what I am committed to. When we’re overly busy, we don’t consider whether our commitments are necessary. But empty space allows us to reevaluate those things.
5) You’ll actually “have time” to be spontaneous. I’m not a spontaneous person by nature, and I can often hide behind busy-ness or tiredness in order to decline spontaneity. But what I’ve discovered from having unstructured free time is that I say yes to invitations more often: Yes, I’ll come, because I have the time AND I’m not tired!
Do you make space in your schedule for unstructured free time? What do you enjoy about it?
Thanks for reading, Christy! I’m glad you connected with this!!
Ok, so I know this post is a little old, but I really connected with it! I found you from Helene and just followed along! Looking forward to reading more 🙂
Thanks Mandi, I’m so glad this resonated with you. And you’re so right… quietness is not just about sounds, but about focus and humility.
Yes!! It sounds like your daughters have pretty different personalities– that’s so interesting! And I love the way you put it: chasing dreams vs. having time to let our dreams take us to new places. Just love it.
So glad to hear it. I think oftentimes outside of therapy, the term “self care” doesn’t come up a lot, though it should! Still, I’m amazed by what therapists do (my husband is studying to be a clinical psychologist) and caring for oneself is most definitely important in professions like that!
Thanks girl!! 🙂
Thanks girl! And I can’t believe you stay up so late– I’m sure it’ll be worth it though 🙂
Thanks Robin! So good to hear that. And yes, it’s really great to do something that doesn’t involve my phone or my computer!
Hahah thanks friend! I hope you’re doing well– that Chinese New Year parade looked absolutely amazing.
Thank you Mikela 🙂
Exactly!! So glad you can relate to this Christina.
Also, I used to be a relatively hectic scheduler too– but I was around so many people who were even more intense about it and it drove me crazy! So I definitely kept my number of commitments low 🙂
Thanks girl! I really appreciate that. <3
I love that you did “home days”, Gina. Definitely something I want to do with my own kids as well– it’s so important to understand down time as not just relaxing but truly necessary!
Thanks Trish! I really appreciate you stopping by 🙂
Ah thanks Hannah!!
Ah thanks lady!! and yes– those girly self-care things can be so amazing.
This really hit home. For years, I’ve thrived on busy-ness and maximizing all the extra time I have. In recent months, I’ve greatly pulled back on the reins, taking some much needed time to ‘smell the roses.’ In the silence is when we can hear Jesus most.
Ooh the 3rd floor of that building sounds amazing… I would love to sit in front of a massive window!
Thank you so much Trou! Really glad this resonated with you– thanks for stopping by!
Thank you Caroline! It’s definitely a tough balance… the truth is that most of us feel super busy, even though some of the things we’re doing aren’t that important. So glad you enjoyed this 🙂
Yay! So glad to hear that Brooke 🙂
Thank you so much Rachel! I agree– having a “busy” family is not one of my goals. Love your ideas for being spontaneous too, I’ve not been to a zoo or a lake forever it seems!
Yess I know the feeling of not having any plans and being actually excited… haha. So glad this resonated with you Brittany!!
Yay! So glad you enjoyed this Jenna! Hope you allow yourself to take a bit of a break sometimes 🙂 It’s so refreshing!
Thank you so much Renee! 🙂
That’s so awesome Brittany! I think kids really need that… I know I wasted away hours just playing in my backyard when I was little 🙂
Yes– some kids are SO busy!! They don’t realize that they’re missing out on that carefree mindset that seems to only come with youth.
I love free time! I’m not ashamed to say so!
It’s funny because one of my older daughters is very Type A, and at the moment, extremely busy, while her younger sister is pretty adamant about having free time in her day. The two of them are teaching me a lot: one about being passionate about something and chasing down dreams, while the other is reminding me to have time to dream. 🙂
I encourage people to schedule self care time – such as massages or time with friends. However, I love your thoughts of having time that is unstructured for whatever. I will certainly be changing the way I word things. Thanks Daisy.
I so agree! I think it’s necessary to include truly FREE time.
Seriously, I completely agree with everything you said. Having said that I don’t recall the last time I had free time /: I think it was winter break. It does get tiring to just keep working all the time. I am often awake till 3-4 am on week nights (as evidenced by when I’m making this comment (: ) trying to finish up homework assignments! As much as I enjoy studying law, I do wish I could have some more free time!
– Deniz
http://www.dressedupdeniz.com
This is a great reminder for me! I think I need to be more intentional about using my free time for something meaningful; for example, knitting or writing instead of being on my phone.
Enjoying a little unstructured free time myself and have finally been able to catch up on your recent blog posts. You’ve been busy girl! So many helpful posts about calming things down and relishing simplicity — it was just the right pep talk I needed after the year I’ve had so far! Looking forward to finally getting my priorities straight and taking the free time I want and need. You’re doing so great Daisy — cheers!
xo
http://www.threadandbones.com
This is such a great post! I am constantly having to remind myself that it is okay to relax and just think. But then again…thinking IS being productive, right? 😉 At least my thinking is. Because I’m always brainstorming new work ideas haha. What I really need to do is learn how to turn my brain off! I should start reading again 🙂
Xo, Mikéla
http://www.simplydavelyn.com
Yes, yes, YES! As someone who isn’t naturally spontaneous, I find that if I force myself to have “free time” in my schedule, I tend to gravitate toward being more spontaneous and less structured overall. I realize how much fun it is to just be able to do whatever I want in that moment and not have to plan it out days in advance.
A few years ago I would fill my schedule to the brim (weeknights after work and weekends included), and would find myself feeling absolutely exhausted and burnt out by the time Sunday night rolled around…just in time to do it all again. Not a healthy or fun way to live!
I completely agree Daisy! Making time for ourselves is the best thing we can do. We live in a society of do do do and we’re made to feel as though we are not being productive if we take some free time. This is a great reminder that it’s totally okay!
x,
Juliana
I started scheduling “home days” when my kids were babies, though I didn’t have lots of free time, I did have time that was scheduled with activities. We spent those days playing catch up, resting, and playing. There are just as important now that my kids are all in school as they were then. Every week has a home day with very little on the agenda. It’s amazing.
I totally agree! Having time for nothing is so important…which can be tough to realize sometimes. I especially love #3!
What a wonderful reminder! Thanks, Daisy!! And I totally understand the “not-being-spontaneous” thing!! 🙂
I LOVE this. I often tell myself to make time to do nothing but when it comes time to actually do nothing, I sometimes find myself laying a big ‘ol guilt trip on myself for not using my time more productively. For me, the happy medium comes in still technically doing “something” when I’m doing nothing, but something that I don’t normally make time to do and benefits only my mental health, not my work etc. If I sit down to do nothing, I like to paint my nails or read my fave magazines – all those girly self-care things. I find it incredibly recharging! Great article as always, beautiful! xx
Now if only the laundry will start doing itself. (; In all seriousness I do believe a little nothing time is extroidary. Typically my “lunch hour” is spent running errands, picking things up for dinner, etc. But every so often I walk up to the third floor of our building, which is abandoned, and sit in a chair in front of the window and just take in the sky. These windows are massive, lots of room for gazing. It really relaxes me. I guess it’s not “scheduled” but when I can, it’s lovely. (:
http://www.accordingtokiki123.blogspot.com
Love this post! Whenever I have free time, I feel like I should be doing something. I definitely need to just relax and enjoy that time. 🙂
http://www.thepeculiartrouth.com
I love this! This is definitely something I’m learning right now but need to keep working on. I’m always wanting to fill my time and feel incomplete with I have an empty schedule. But I’m also constantly wishing I had more free time for creative pursuits. It’s a tough balance to find but an awesome lesson to learn! Thanks for sharing!
I do! I agree with you that it is so important to have a day where you just enjoy yourself doing whatever you want to do. For us, it is Sunday as well.
Brooke
pumps and push-ups
Wonderful post! I’m thankful that my family has always chosen to live this way. I’ve seen many other families where the kids have sports and other activities filling up every day of the week and the parents have commitments at work and with friends most nights, and everyone is always running. I’ve never cared for that. Maybe it’s because due to my health I was forced away from that, but it made me see the beauty in having time to just relax, to be able to enjoy the company of those closest to me. I am a very big promoter of spontaneity, though. I think that will be a big part of this summer for me, going and relaxing at the lake just because it’s a lovely day, or deciding to drive to the next town over to visit the zoo.
Thank you for sharing! <3
That’s such a good point, Rachel! I hope to give my future kids tons of unstructured free time to play outside, use their imaginations, read, and explore. I don’t want to drag them into a too-busy world!
This is so true! I’m not a spontaneous person by nature either, but I find that I can be persuaded when I’m not as busy. I’m pretty introverted, so I have a really hard time when my schedule is too full and I don’t have downtime to do quiet things like read or just go for a walk. My husband and try to keep Sundays free as well, and we try to limit ourselves to just 1 or 2 weekend commitments. And I agree, you can definitely be excited over nothing! My favorite weekends are the ones when we have no plans at all!
This is something I really need to work on! I’m a little too dedicated to my to-do lists and busy schedule. It can really get stressful! I need to make more time to just relax and do whatever I like! Idea #1 is usually the most refreshing for me. I like to take a bubble bath and read a good book, or go get my nails done.
Love this post. I couldn’t agree more! Although I don’t really live a life where my time is always full. I do enjoy my free time!
http://www.losetheroad.blogspot.ca
I definitely like to get a some just “us” time on the weekends for Angel and I–time without scheduled activities definitely rejuvenates me. When it comes to kids, I think this is especially important–adult life comes with so many unavoidable scheduled appointments, kids shouldn’t have to already be living daily lives dictated by outside responsibilities.