We don’t live in a culture that loves silence.
There is very little time between the time that silence commences and our powerful need to fill it. When with friends, we feel awkward when silence falls between us. When alone, we seek to stimulate our minds whenever we’re awake. Nothingness is uncomfortable. It makes us feel vulnerable.
I’ve been relatively comfortable with occasional moments of silence between friends. But silence in my own mind? Never. Even when I’m taking a coffee break, taking public transportation or waiting for an appointment, I fill that space with something. I check my phone, I turn on music, I watch TV, I read.
It’s as though if my mind is not engaged in something, then something is not right.
But, oddly enough, it is in those infrequent moments of nothingness that I truly allow myself to rest. In that unplanned, unfilled, un-busy time, there’s an intangible quietness that comforts me beyond words.
Allowing myself to spend even a few minutes unengaged in some form of media or communication has made the rest of my moments more intentional, more productive. Slowing down in those “in-between” moments gives me energy for the demanding tasks of each day.
I’m challenging myself to be silent more. To be okay with not constantly consuming something. To be okay with nothingness filling my senses. To take deep breaths. To trust that the world will continue spinning even when I’m not working.
I’m embracing silence.
Would you join me?
Here are some ways to enjoy those silence throughout your day:
1) In between appointments or meetings, if I arrive early: taking a few deep breaths with eyes closed.
2) Shutting off screens and electronics half an hour before I plan to sleep. Allowing myself to start resting before I plan on falling asleep, instead of crashing, exhausted, onto my bed.
3) Not feeling the need to watch a video, read blogs or shop online when I eat alone. To savor the food I’m eating and allow my mind to wander, or to go nowhere at all.
4) To think twice before speaking just to fill the silence between friends. To show warmth and joy in ways other than talking.
Do you enjoy silence? What do you find challenging about it? I’d love to know!
Wonderful post! While I enjoy times of silence and just relaxing, I do find it difficult at times. With my health I can feel that if I lose a moment of being able to do something, then I’ll lose the chance to do it at all, since my health is so unpredictable. I find it easiest to do when I’m at my grandmother’s house, where there is no wifi.
Savoring food is a big one for me. I used to eat while working or watching tv, but now I’m making a conscious effort to be undistracted. To either eat with company over food we’re enjoying together, or to be alone and be mindful of the moment and of each bite. It’s better for the digestion and better for the soul. Other time of silence is on those few times when I get out for a run or a power walk. I used to listen to music or podcasts but now I just listen to the sounds of the city and let my mind wander – exercising is so good for the brain — I always come up with the best ideas for blogging, writing or shooting while on my jogs. Now if only I could do it more than once a week!
xo
http://www.threadandbones.com
I LOVE this! I so struggle with learning to love silence when I’m by myself. I love the physical act of being alone, but I have a hard time with not letting my mind be consumed by something while I’m alone. Especially when I’m eating, I should really be enjoying my food more. Fabulous tips, Daisy!
I am with you girl! I am always working on it – especially talking just to fill the silence.
Erica
http://www.pumpsandpushups.com
Ah thanks Ashley, you’re too kind. 🙂 Glad this resonated with you!
Thanks girl! I’m so grateful that you appreciated this.
Thank you Hannah! So glad this resonated with you.
Yes, make silence work for you!! 🙂 I had friends in college who couldn’t work in libraries– too quiet! 😉
Yes, that’s a good one. It’s made a huge difference in me feeling rested!
Thanks girl! Powering down is really challenging but can make you feel so much more rested– it’s true! 🙂
Thanks Chelsea!! 🙂
Thanks Brittany! What you’ve said is SO true. I think of things in the shower as well, because I’m finally not filling my mind with something. So glad this resonated with you.
Exactly!! Oh and letting your phone die is a great way to step away from it. 🙂
Thank you so much Jeannette! You’re right, the more we move, the less we’re comfortable with silence. There is so much noise around us, especially when we take on more tasks. I really appreciate your words of wisdom, friend!
Thank you so much Miriam! I feel exactly as you do.
Thanks girl! And I absolutely agree. 🙂
Thanks friend! Glad to hear that you’re with me in working on this. And thank you for reading this 🙂
Yes, it’s against our culture in a lot of ways! Thanks for reading this, Gina!
It’s so great!! I can’t imagine what a relief it is for you sometimes 😉
Absolutely. Thanks for reading, Laura!
Daisy I just love your blog! Yes to this, and I need more of this advice in my life!
Aaah! This is such an important post. Silence is a key component of rest & peace. Thank you for this wise counsel, Daisy 🙂
This is so wonderful, Daisy! Thank you for the reminder of just how important and beautiful silence is!! I’ve been working to soak that in more recently, too. 🙂 We’re constantly bombarded by noise and distraction – often our own doing! You’re right – it really is great to sit in silence sometimes!
This is something that I go through on/off phases – in general I enjoy being calm and quiet, but I struggle to work without music/TV on in the background, and of course there are always moments where I automatically grab for my phone or iPad when I have nothing to do. I have, though, been deliberately shutting off my tech 30 mins before bed and I’ve gotta say, it works wonders!
it definitely is tough to be silent but it’s a great idea to work on this! I try to read for about half an hour before bed and not look at my phone.
Great advice! I need to follow through with this. I have a terrible habit of using my phone/working on my laptop before bed! Need to learn to power it off! Thanks for sharing!
Katherine Lou
http://www.wanderhour.com
I need to follow in your footsteps with this!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this important topic! In general, I really enjoy silence, but I realized that I don’t allow much of it in my life for two main reasons: 1) I’m afraid of missing out on something (FOMO!), and 2) I feel the need to be productive at all times. I’ve also been noticing that my best ideas come to me in the shower, and I’m wondering if it’s because that’s one of the few silent spaces in my life.
We don’t realize we are never giving ourselves a break from the busy world we live in. Sometimes on the weekends when we are home, I like to let my phone die. I dont rush to plug it in, only put it somewhere I wont lose it and worry about it the next day. It’s refreshing and it’s something I do almost every weekend. (:
http://www.accordingtokiki123.blogspot.com
Beautiful post Daisy. To me silence is the most precious gift we could ever give to ourselves. Silence is everything. It is actually when we connect with everyone and everything around us. I totally agree with you Daisy on everything you said. To me it seems that the more we move forward in life, the more unknown silence become to us. I think technology and social media is taking over our minds. I love silence and yes, I have to work at making time for silence. Thanks for sharing such beautiful words Daisy. Have a wonderful week. XOXO, Jeannette
http://www.msjeannieandhercloset.com
What a great and inspirational post Daisy. I try to embrace silence but it’s so hard for me, my brain works at 200 miles a minute, and even,when I silent, on the inside I am not. I will try closing my eyes and taking breaths again, I used to do that ages ago, I don’t know why I stopped though!
I hear you on this one! My favorite people in my life are those I can be silent around – that’s the best kind of friendship! Another great post, Daisy. 🙂
Xo, Alison
http://www.simplyfairbyalisonjeanine.com
Daisy! This is so good. I am awful at this. I absolutely HATE silence. But I know it’s essential sometimes. Something I’m definitely trying to work on.
I think I have a lot to learn about silence and rest and incorporating into my everyday life. It takes practice and intention, for sure! And I love how you are promoting it Daisy! I think it is so important to be still, to be silent and to rest for overall wellbeing!
I definitely enjoy silence, Daisy…especially when little tyke goes for his nap. You have no idea how much I appreciate the silence throughout the house. LOL!
Shireen | Reflection of Sanity
I have definitely learned to enjoy more silence than I once did, and you are correct about ultimately being more productive when you allow your mind to rest for a few minutes here and there! It’s so hard to shut off the phone or tablet sometimes.