The day after Halloween, I walked into a crafts store. According to their displays, Halloween was so yesterday and Christmas season had officially begun.
There were plastic trees on display, cheap ornaments in boxes, and ribbons of every color. Somehow they even transitioned the scent of the whole store from autumn spice to winter wonderland.
Someone remarked to me recently that Thanksgiving “gets no love”– and that November is just that awkward transitional season after Halloween when we start anticipating the biggest purchasing month of the year.
What is it about Thanksgiving? Is there nothing to sell in relation to it?
This is my theory: Thanksgiving in its essence is terribly difficult to make materialistic. In fact, it stands for quite the opposite. Rather than giving stuff, we give thanks.
[Tweet “Rather than giving stuff, let’s first give thanks. #simplify”]
Other than Williams-Sonoma and your local grocery store, no one really promotes Thanksgiving the way that Halloween and Christmas are promoted. It’s because we know that the heart of the holiday is something that can’t be purchased: gathering around the table with loved ones to celebrate the blessings of the year. No amount of purchases or props can add meaning to this: it comes down to the posture of our hearts.
I love Thanksgiving because there are so few items needed to make it special. Sure, many of us prepare a feast (and our family will be no exception), but decor can be low-key. There are no costumes, lights, or face paint to dig out of the garage. We don’t find ourselves adding new outfits to our closets just for Thanksgiving dinner.
Thanksgiving is deeply personal.
Sure, there’s the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade, but families all over the U.S. celebrate Thanksgiving in their own way. Some bring out the turkey, potatoes, stuffing and pie in traditional fashion; others might choose a different meal altogether, but gather nonetheless. Unlike Christmas, there’s much less expectation for everyone to follow the “rules” of a cultural holiday. A time of gratitude can hardly be a time of strict demands. To me, the message seems to be, “give thanks– in your own way, in your own time, with your loved ones.”
I still remember the first time I fell in love with Thanksgiving. I had always celebrated it as a child, but I came to appreciate the simple act of gathering around the table when I worked in addiction recovery. I was just getting the hang of cooking for large groups of people, when I realized we had a 120-headcount for Thanksgiving dinner. Families in our community took care of the turkeys, but we as the community kitchen were responsible for everything else.
We had hundreds of potatoes to chop, peel, cook and mash. I made 10 apple pies one morning. We stirred a vat of hot gravy and another bucket of homemade cranberry sauce. It was quite the production, and I was exhausted before the meal even began.
But as the residents walked in, the magic happened. I saw childlike glee creep across their faces. For many, this was their first Thanksgiving in a warm, safe place filled with friends. It didn’t matter what they were wearing, whether they had any money in their pockets, or how difficult their lives had been up to that point. With the crackling fire, good company and hot food, the festivity was full and our hearts, fuller.
The holiday spirit can’t be bought.
Sometimes we think it can be, especially when we’re shopping for gifts, selecting scented candles, or looking for new decorations. None of those things are bad, but they’re also not what brings the warmth into a room full of people.
I love that Thanksgiving comes between the two biggest spending holidays in America. I love that we can come together in the spirit of gratitude to celebrate what we have with those whom we have been given.
Christmas often gets credit (mostly from romantic comedies) for being the holiday during which people confess their love. But giving thanks for someone is a declaration of love. It need not be coupled with a diamond necklace or brand new gadget. “Thank you for being in my life; I love you” is sometimes enough.
[Tweet “Thanksgiving gets so little marketing– and that’s a good thing. via @daisylinshih #minimalism”]
Aw thank you Jules! And I am completely in support of your 2016 volunteering goal– I’m always looking for ways to stretch myself relationally, as I’ve seen that change my attitude about so much in my life. Cheers to you!
Thank you for for your sweet comment, Lindsay!
I think there really is a lot of fanfare over the food, so I get that! The act of gathering is a bit more subtle, but I love that Thanksgiving launches a whole season that’s about celebrating the people in our lives.
Hey Daisy, Your telling of helping to cook and serve a Thanksgiving meal for dozens of people got me all misty. That is truly what the holidays are all about, and what life is all about: caring for one another, and taking the time to do so. Yesterday I began writing a list of a few things I’d like to try in 2016 (IE: workout/”get strong” goals, home improvement projects), and one of them is to find volunteer opportunities for my husband and me in our community. I’d like to try a few a see where we are needed the most. I believe we all have the time to give – it’s just a matter of designating the time for a specific purpose. I feel in my heart we can give much more than we realize. Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family! 🙂 ~Jules
I never thought about it like this, but you are totally right! I feel like, even as an adult, I loved Thanksgiving because of the food. Of course my family, ever since I was young, talked about and prayed about what we were thankful for, but honestly, I was more interested in the food, or I would acknowledge what I was thankful for but it was at a surface level. In this past year since I had a baby and have put in effort to reconnect with my faith, I feel completely differently. I’m looking forward to my first Thanksgiving with a refocused point of view.
I just posted it today! I’d love for you to check it out. (:
Yes. An expensive life is not worth the price of strong relationships.
Exactly! Turkey sales are up but Thanksgiving is really not about buying much else. It’s wonderful.
Aw thank you Anna! That means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy what you can of Thanksgiving this year– there’s always next year (and many more to come!).
Yes exactly! We love being able to spend Thanksgiving with Family.
Thank you for reading, Shireen!! I did see Christmas stuff BEFORE Halloween– so so weird.
Yes!! Exactly. It’s low-key enough for us to really just enjoy each other. And I like Christmas too– especially the songs, the tree, and the colors!
Thank you, Emily!! That’s amazing, I need to read your post!
And I agree– all the holiday trimmings and gifts in the world can’t take the place of authentic relationships and community.
Yes! Christmas is a holiday for people to gather and share the love as well. I just love the aspect of these holidays that are really about being grateful and generous! x
I like Christmas too…. 😉 But Thanksgiving really pulls me in and makes me enjoy the company (no presents, no lights, just food!). So glad you’re spending Thanksgiving at home this year. It’s so special to be able to do that.
Thank you, Hannah! Yes.. the Thanksgiving table and the autumn feel is hard to beat!
Thank you so much! And yes Thanksgiving seems to be a lower-stress holiday (at least for those of us who choose not to stress out about cooking!).
Thank you, Gina– I appreciate that! This is a great time of year… and even though I’d love some chillier weather, I’m reminded to be grateful even for what we do have! 😉
Thanks Emily!! So glad you agree! 🙂 Enjoy your NYC Thanksgiving this year!
Thank you Lauren! And that is so sweet that you grew up with warm, happy Thanksgivings like that.
Exactly. Thanks for reading, Susannah!
So glad that Thanksgiving is special for you and your family, Kiki! I’ve seen photos of you all hanging out together so I bet it’s a really great time!
Thanks so much, friend! I’m so gad you feel the same way.
Thank you, Brittany! I can’t believe Black Friday is now starting on actual Thanksgiving Day– some even at 5PM!
Thanks Julie!! I hope you are doing well– enjoy Thanksgiving in Thailand!!
Thank you, Christina! Yes, it’s so hard to focus on Thanksgiving when Christmas is roaring at full strength already (which I love by the way!).
This is such an eye-opening post Daisy. Thanks for inspiring us to see Thanksgiving for what it truly represents and as a time for when we can focus on what we are grateful for–what truly matters in life. I love this post and this time of year. I hope you can have a joyful Thanksgiving with family and friends!
It is a great way to see Thanksgiving. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, along with Chinese New Years, because of all the lights but Christmas is stressful. Thanksgiving is pretty simple, gather and eat! I wish you a very joyful Thanksgiving!
Yes!! This is so true! I love that the true thankful spirit is not something that can be bought – what a good point! And now that I think about it, I realize I have always loved Thanksgiving because of its less-hyped, more-authentic feel! Great post, friend! 🙂
While Christmas morning is still hard to beat, Thanksgiving is definitely a close second. I love the happiness that everyone seems to experience on Thanksgiving and it’s a time that we all take the time to really appreciate our lives and that we really do have a lot to be thankful for. I am heading home this year, the first in many, and I CANNOT wait to celebrate with my family!
Shannon
Clothes & Quotes
This is such a great post! Thanksgiving isn’t celebrated in Australia but I’ve always wished it was. I love the idea behind it and what it stands for. Our Christmas is like our Thanksgiving in the way we celebrate it though, which is probably one of the reasons I love Christmas so much! x
Yes! Excellent post! And crazy now you read my mind with this one. I literally just wrote a blog post along these same lines the other day and it’s set to go up next week. Funny how that works!
I love what you said about the fact that the holiday spirit can’t be bought, because that’s something that is equally true for all holidays, and not just Thanksgiving. The true joy and fun and thankfulness in any holiday comes from the people you spend it with.
I really love the low keyness of Thanksgiving, which is probably why it’s such a special holiday for my family and I! We have our traditions, and it stays super “real” you know. We are actually able to focus on eachother rather than distractions. We love Christmas too (it’s my ultimate fav), but there is a certain stress to it which is sad. I love it nonetheless!
This is so true, Daisy! I think Halloween and Christmas has changed so much over the years that the meaning and the essence to the celebrations are different these days. Christmas especially has become such an overkill, I mean stores are having Christmas stuff out way before Halloween?! Thanksgiving is not celebrated in Malaysia but I have celebrated twice ever since moving to Canada and I love how low-key it is. It’s all about family and as you said, giving thanks and be grateful. I love it!
Shireen | Reflection of Sanity
I don’t think I truly appreciated Thanksgiving until I was living away from my family. Now I love the holiday and the fact that is all about just giving thanks and being with those you love.
Omg I LOVE this post Daisy!! It is so true that Thanksgiving is probably the most un-materialistic/dressing-up holiday there is. This post made me a little sad that I won’t be spending it with family this year (but D’s family is actually coming to Taipei during that week!). I also LOVED reading about your experience at the addiction recovery center. I can only imagine how rewarding it was to see the people so happy!
You are definitely right. What’s the point in marketing a holiday that isn’t about buying anything (other than food!)? I love Thanksgiving, I’m not sure if we’ll be doing much for it this year, although just this morning I was thinking of inviting the friends over for a big pot of chili on Thanksgiving Day. Whether celebrations are big or not, I’m glad it exists. In my book, it’s the best specifically American holiday there is.
LOVE THIS! Thanksgiving is my favorite, for all of these reasons!
Wow, I love this. I’ve never thought about the fact that Thanksgiving is one holiday where everyone is encouraged to celebrate with the people they love in their own way! Thanksgiving was always my favorite holiday as a kid because I thought there was something so magical about how the adults would sit around the table laughing and talking for hours. It really is so beautiful!
Hmmm… I’ve never thought of it this way! You’re so right that it’s hard to commercialize a holiday that is the opposite of commercialism!
Wow. I have never ever thought of it this way. Reading this was like a jaw dropping revelation. Sure come November first, I pack away the candy corn and spider webs. I leave the leaf garland and seasonal pumpkins. I added some burlap on the table this year and a little “Happy Thanksgiving,” sign I found for $3 at Target. When it comes to the hype, you are totally right, it’s not there. Thanksgiving has always been such a special holiday for my family. It meant I got to see my cousins who live out of state and well, an excuse to eat til I was sick. Sure as I got older, I really understood it. I really felt the thankful vibes of making it to another November as a happy and healthy being. In a way, it’s sad that we see less of it in the stores, but on the other hand, you can’t put a price on feelings and memories. (:
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Oh, I love this post! Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays for this very reason. There’s this warm, happy, and content aura to it, and it’s one I haven’t found with any other holiday!
xoxo
Kat
I’d never thought about it this way before! It never seemed to bother me that Thanksgiving gets “no love,” because I love it so much anyway — but it’s true that we can’t commercialize Thanksgiving. I know there’s a whole lot of trying with Black Friday creeping back to Thursday, but there’s really no way to turn the actual day of thanks into something other than what is it: a chance to gather around a table with people we love. Thanks for these beautiful thoughts!
I love this about Thanksgiving, but I hadn’t really thought of it quite like this before. I’m so glad we have a holiday that cannot be exploited because of its very nature. Erick and I will have to make our own Thanksgiving in Thailand happen this year!
Aw Daisy, I loved this!! You make a great point in saying that “spirit can’t be bought”. I think I am so guilty of not giving Thanksgiving the love it deserves sometimes and this is a great reminder to me to enjoy it for what it is – a reminder to be grateful and cherish that time with those I love most!