This post is going to make me sound really old-fashioned. Perhaps, just old.
I work with kids everyday, and even if I’m barely 10 years older than some of them, I see a stark difference between their realities and mine. While my students are hardly a conclusive sample size, I’ve observed a discrepancy between what I would expect from children, and what I actually see.
I should mention that my students are relatively privileged: at the very least, their parents care deeply about their education and have demonstrable desires for their success. But every time I sit down to work with each student, I can’t help but feel that there’s something almost missing about them.
This inadequacy is hardly their fault, but its glaring presence troubles me. Many of my students aren’t as creative as I remember being, as a child. They have a hard time coming up with their own stories, opinions, and perspectives. There’s an insolence that– I wonder– appears related to the prevalence of technology. Parents look at phones much more often now than they ever did when I was 10 years old. Perhaps conversations at the table dwindle because everyone has their own device.
On top of that, my students are busy. When I was growing up, I spent a lot of my time spacing out and doing nothing in particular. I drew pictures, I wrote stories, I played outside. Yes, I also played piano, took dance lessons and volunteered, but my “work” day wasn’t 12 hours long. Now I begin tutoring with some of my students as they’re rushing in from ballet or soccer– still leotard-clad or soccer-cleat-shod.
I can’t speak to how Aaron and I will be as parents– the choices we’ll make, the challenges we’ll face. But I do know that there’s a sweet, innocent, and colorful childhood that I still hold in my mind as the ideal. I want our children to know that season before delving into the woes of our world and being a part of healing it. I want them to experience joy at its purest before joining us in the sorrow of adulthood and the small increments of victory we seek. As children, I hope they’ll have less to win, and more to simply be.
10 Simple Things I Want For My Kids
1) Friends nearby who come over unannounced.
2) A patch of dirt to dig and cultivate.
3) Scraps and materials for making toys and creating art.
4) A place at the table where they must engage and express.
5) Age-appropriate work that makes them feel valued.
6) Stories to hear and stories to tell.
7) Opportunities to visit new places, nearby or far away.
8) Family members and mentors to lead them.
9) Possessions to call their own and people to share them with.
10) Confidence in the truth that they matter, their community matters, and we all matter.
Perhaps I’m nostalgic for a time in human history that never really existed, but I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that these things are not so much purchased as cultivated. And I’m hopeful that we’ll be able to raise our children with likeminded people who want the same thing for their kids.
[Tweet “10 simple things I want for my kids #livewithintention via @daisylinshih”]
To build up a child such kind of simple tips are more effective. They also like this and we need to continue such kind of points so more. I hope it will be great result for us.
Beautiful post Daisy!! This is all SO true! I remember playing outside so much as a kid, with the neighbor kids… sometimes, I think that was the best time of my life! We didn’t have video games or a computer or expensive toys or anything. Just us and our imaginations. I remember crafting so much too and drawing. Now I see kids that start to play on the ipad as a toddler. i think the way we were brought up as kids is a lot healthier!
I love this list! I hope my children are able to have these things, and I bet it’s difficult to be intentional enough to raise them in ways the culture/technology of our time tries to stomp out.
So true. Today’s generation needs to know the side of the world outside of technology.
Kaitlyn @ http://kaitlyn-danielle.blogspot.com
I LOVE this, and I could not agree more! This made me realize just how much time I spent “doing nothing” in a good way when I was growing up: daydreaming (lots and lots of daydreaming), making up stories, playing dress up and “house,” running around. I want this sort of creative play and downtime for my kids. It’s so much more than learning to entertain themselves (which is certainly nice) — it’s about having freedom and mental space to make sense of the world.
I love this so much!!
I pretty much had all of those except, ”
CONFIDENCE IN THE TRUTH THAT THEY MATTER”.
Missing out on that one thing has affected my whole life. Please, people, see and hear your children.
This is such a lovely list! 🙂 I think a lot of adults would benefit from this list too actually, haha!
We are looking for a new house, and our desired lifestyle with kids and a dog (And maybe another dog…) is making it difficult, as we have a particular type of neighbourhood in mind. But we will persist and get that perfect place 🙂
Away From The Blue Blog
This post is so true Daisy. I feel sad that young people are so wrapped up with their iphones that they actually are missing something amazing- a fun childhood. I want all the same for my kids when I have some. Seriously, I want more people to read this post!
As a homeschooling mama who also wants these things for my kids, I want to encourage you that it’s possible. It may not be the easy or popular way to live, but it’s possible if you are intentional. What I want for my kids is my inspiration to homeschool – but even with a different schooling choice you can create space in your lives to make these things happen.
I think these are all things we should always want. Not just as kids but as adults, as we grow older. I think in a way, we’re all missing one thing or another. (: You have a beautiful heart. I hope you and your husband have the very best weekend!
http://www.accordingtokiki.net
I want all of these things for mine too! a simpler, happier, more fulfilling way of living.
This is such a sweet list. I think what I want most for my children is happiness. I was so fortunate to have a truly happy childhood and it’s one thing I’ve always been grateful for!
Thank you so much for sharing this! There are definitely many similarities between your list and the things that I hope for my own children. Here’s to intentionally building a home that makes these things possible and to engaging more and more with our neighbourhood and community!
Aww, this post made me smile. Some of our students have their tuition session from 8:30-9:30 p.m. on a school night, because that’s literally the only time left after a full day of school and after-school activities. I would have hated that. I loved being homeschooled, though I find that as an adult, that probably influenced my lack of love for tightly regulated schedules. 🙂