I hadn’t defined myself as a minimalist while we were planning our wedding, but there was one thing I was sure of: that I did not want to accumulate tons of stuff that we would have to lug around for the rest of our lives– stuff that we did not really use or need.
At the risk of sounding ungrateful and irreverent, I was determined not to receive most traditional wedding gifts: pretty sets of bone china, sterling silver utensils, dry-clean-only linens, the works. For one, we knew that we wouldn’t be living in a home large enough to store such stately items– much less large enough to host all the people required to use the tableware.
In addition to our registry, I also thought about what it would mean for us to walk away with memories, blessings and great joy, but without an entire sleigh of things. Now that it’s been almost a year since our wedding, I’ll share a few of my tips.
1) Rent a dress, or buy one and sell it. I know this may sound absolutely ludicrous to some, but I can really appreciate the sense in renting or borrowing a dress. My bridal dress was brand new, tailored to fit me, and worn for approximately 4 hours before I changed into a more comfortable evening gown. It weighed at least 10 pounds, if not 15. I wasn’t interested in boxing it up for future generations (who will probably want to purchase their own dresses), so I now wish I had spent that money more wisely.
I’ve consigned my dress with a sweet lady near my hometown. It is quoted at 50% the amount that I paid for it, and it makes me feel *slightly* better that it’s now off my hands. So, if you’re afraid of having to lug tons of precious items around after the wedding, consider renting a dress, purchasing one from consignment, or selling your dress once you’re done. And if you’d like to splurge on something as the bride-to-be, try jewelry! You can wear it again and again, and it’s much easier to store.
2) Use real flowers and rent what you can. Yes, it can feel like the ultimate waste when all the fresh flowers are thrown away (or given away) at the end of the event. But, unless you have plans for the silk flowers you buy, it’s better not to have them. Fake flowers are a compromise that doesn’t really give back unless they’re super high-quality and you actually want to use them in your home.
As for the tableware at the wedding, we rented everything. Even though rental fees can run high (like everything else in a wedding), it’s better to do so unless you really needs those glasses and table clothes. Don’t forget that these items need to be specially laundered and cleaned! No fun!
3) Register for practical items, gift certificates, or “flat gifts.” It’s becoming increasingly acceptable to ask for cold hard cash from generous guests. Explain that the cash will go to something special– date nights, weekend getaways– and people will feel good about treating you to a nice dinner. There are also websites that allow people to help you pay for honeymoon activities. We didn’t do this, but we’ve gifted this way to others.
We registered on Amazon. It’s not fancy, but it has a ton of excellent items that you may actually need, including kitchen appliances, tools, speakers, books and even jars and containers. It’s also easier to find a wider price range on Amazon, so we were glad that we had $15 and $20 offerings for guests with lower budgets. Finally, Amazon does not charge as premium a fee as so many other registries, so that was a perk too!
4) Purchase re-wearable shoes. Let me tell you, it was so tempting to go for the ultra-glittery silver heels when I went shoe-shopping. But, I’m really glad that I purchased my unbelievably comfortable beige sandals instead. They’re impossibly elegant, I can wear them on occasions other than parties, and I can actually stand in them for hours. Plus, when you’re wearing a traditional wedding dress, no one is supposed to see your shoes anyway.
5) Actually share the photos. There will be so many photos. Our photographers took over 1000 just on the day of the wedding, so needless to say it took some time to sort through those (thankfully digital) files. To make the most of your photos, purchase a reasonably sized wedding album that people will actually want to flip through– not a tome that needs to be stowed away. Give small prints to loved ones and members of the wedding party. Images are meant to be shared, enjoyed, and cherished.
6) Give edible party favors. If you’re against accumulating clutter, then don’t clutter up your guests’ homes, either! To save money, we baked cookies for our guests to take with them. What they’ll appreciate most is having enjoyed their time celebrating with you, and knowing how much you appreciate them.
7) You don’t have to keep everything. It’s easy to be sentimental, but there are so many potential mementos that you’ll have to make tough choices. Keep one extra invitation and program, not thirty of them. Keep one bouquet, not all six. Keep the cards that are meaningful, not every blank one that only says “congratulations.” Keep just enough that you can go back and relive the wedding, but not so much that it’s an overwhelming stash of items you end up avoiding.
Now, almost a year later, I’m grateful everyday that we dodged the twenty-piece china, and I’m still glad that I decided to sell my dress. Ultimately, cutting down on the stuff of weddings can help us remember that the wedding is not about the stuff; it’s about a sacred commitment to love and cherish someone forever. That’s what I want to take away and remember!
Did you accumulate a lot of items when you got married? Or if you’re planning a wedding, what do you think will be the most important item in your wedding? I’d love to know!
Love this post 🙂 Over two years later, there are definitely things I do regret from my
registry but for the most part I am happy with the high quality items we asked for. (When we got married we both just graduated college and had very junky stuff!)
My mother came up with the beautiful idea to repurpose my
wedding dress into a christening gown for future children <3 I
thought that was a sweet way to reuse a special piece of clothing and
pare it down to a reasonable size!
YES! Floral arrangements are just amazing, they change everything. Our florist was an absolute genius, we were totally in awe of him!
I’m so glad you mentioned splurging on real flowers, instead of buying fake ones. I understand using some fake flowers to fill in the gaps, but real flowers and fresh arrangments are where it’s at. I may be biased, though. 😉
Love this list, and your dress is gorgeous!!
Thank you so much Angela! Yes, we’re grateful for the way things turned out with our wedding, and being able to pursue simplicity in other aspects of our lives too! Glad you found a way to donate your dress, there is such a need!
What a purposeful and thoughtful way to start your married life together! I just donated my wedding dress after 16 years. I felt lighter. I wish we had started our married life more intentionally with regards to things – you’re off to a great start!
Thank you so much Elmira! I’m almost positive you can still sell your dress– people love buying used ones! 🙂
Thank you so much Caroline!! 🙂 Yes… rings can be expensive, especially if they have diamonds! First I have to say that our wedding was in no way “cheap”; we had a reasonable budget and we stayed within it, but we weren’t hard-pressed to keep costs super low. That said, I think you should purchase a ring that means a lot to you, but fits your budget and lifestyle. I don’t personally see jewelry as an “investment” unless you truly intend to sell it one day. So, look for something within your budget and something that you can wear everywhere you go. I honestly find myself wearing just my wedding ring a lot nowadays, just because in certain settings I don’t want to have anything “sparkly” on my body (for personal safety). But, it’s really up to you– your lifestyle, your taste, your budget– and you’ll find the right one! You definitely don’t have to have a diamond either… lots of women choose other stones or designs that are meaningful to them. Hope that helps a bit! 🙂
Hi Daisy
Everything you said on this post is so true, in my opinion. After more than 12 years, I still have my wedding dress sitting in my parents’ house and I wanted to really sell it after our wedding but life got busy and I forgot about it. I have two boys so I don’t think anyone will ever want to wear it one day, haha.
Xo
Elmira
WELL PUT TOGETHER
Your wedding is so beautiful! Do you have any thoughts on engagement rings? My boyfriend and I are looking right now and finding them VERY expensive (even more so than we expected). I know they are a valuable and lifelong investment, so it makes sense to spend a good amount of money on them, but my simplistic side finds it hard to justify spending so much. I’d love to know your thoughts!
Thank you Erica!! Yes, I’m sure your floral designs are beautiful! We also reused our bridesmaid bouquets on the dessert table; there are great ways to repurpose those things before the end of the night. 🙂
Oh yeah. Tim designed ours, but we sent them to a printer to letterpress them… He REALLY wanted them letterpressed. Our centerpieces just came from the florist, rented. inexpensive, and no worry for me!
Thanks Jenna! 🙂 We were the same way– we didn’t live together and I didn’t really have a kitchen to begin with, so we had a lot of basic appliances to purchase. The wedding definitely helped with that (hello Vitamix)!! And yes, flat gifts are wonderful, we’ve had to make so many other purchases just to set up our apartment, and the wedding money has been a huge blessing.
Thanks girl! And yes, I’m so glad that asking for cash is becoming more and more acceptable in the US; it’s so common in Asia– no one gives you a thousand plates!
Hahah. DIY is nuts, I’m so glad we didn’t DIY anything (except our invitations– buying invites is SO $$$). If our budget were much tighter, we would have skipped centerpieces all together!
Ah thanks girl! Our photographers were incredible!! 🙂 And I’m really excited for you as you plan your wedding Kiki! A 1940’s theme sounds so fun, I can’t wait to read/see more of how that develops. You’re definitely already making some fabulous choices; and the point is not to spend tons of money, but to make the choices that characterize who you want to be! I can’t wait to see the dress! 🙂
Thanks girl!! I’m sure your mom looked gorgeous on her wedding day AND on the honeymoon! 🙂
Yes, it’s great to be able to reuse the items you bought for your wedding! Thank for stopping by 🙂
These are great tips! As a wedding designer + florist a lot of these are things I talk to many of our brides about! Especially when it comes to rentals and flowers!
You have some great tips here, Daisy! I bought shoes that I can definitely wear again, and we are planning to register for practical stuff we will use. We aren’t living together yet so we will need a lot of stuff for our kitchen and house in general. I like the idea of “flat gifts” too! It would be nice to get gift cards for date nights or money to put towards bigger items we need for the house.
This is such a great post Daisy! I love the idea of edible wedding tokens- they are so cute 🙂 My sister also asked for money at her wedding, her partner and her used it for activities on their honeymoon 🙂 I like the idea of having shoes you can wear again soon. Hope you are well
Rachel xx
http://www.thedailyluxe.net
I think another thing to keep in mind is that the details — which make for really pretty pictures on pinterest — won’t be remembered by ANYONE. They will remember three things: food, booze, and dancing. My advice: save yourself the stress and time, and skip all the DIY centerpieces!
Let me start by saying what I’ve said on all your wedding posts. Holy awesome photographer! Secondly, I can’t begin to tell you how much this post is going to help me in the next year and a half of my life. I LOVE the edible wedding favors. Totally sold on that. We are actually leaning toward a 1940’s themed wedding. I’ve always known I wanted a tea length dress. Totally not traditional, I mean my engagement ring center stone is a sapphire. (; I fell in LOVE with this little lace number that is only $130! At first I thought too good to be true, but I’ve contacted several of the girls who also chose it for their wedding and they LOVED it. In a world women spend thousands on their dresses, I think I’m doing pretty well.
http://www.accordingtokiki123.blogspot.com
Sadly, I don’t! But we can be Facebook friends — I have tons on there!
And I totally agree! I’d guess that 80% of our registry (maybe more!) was kitchen related. Everything has been useful! It felt so unromantic to register for a trash can and bags, but gosh, we love our trash can. 🙂
I love this! When my parents got married in Hawaii, my mom wore an off-the-rack shift dress and sandals. Granted this is SO much more appropriate for a beach wedding, but my mom still tells me that she’s glad she saved more for their honeymoon and loves her dress just the same.
Always, Anita
We definitely followed some of these tips you’ve shared! We did candles and matches as favors and ended up with a ton left over. Now, almost 7 years later, we are still using them for outdoor parties or other social events we have at the house!
Ah thanks Nina!! xo
Thanks girl!! So glad you can relate 🙂 And yes, money spent on a wedding is just on another level. I can understand that you’re paying the salary of wedding professionals, but still– definitely a once-in-a-lifetime expenditure, at least we hope! And yes, we also use EVERYTHING that was on our registry– mostly kitchen items that are lifesavers for us! Do you have wedding photos on your blog?? I’d love to see them! 🙂
Ah thanks so much Anna!!! And if you throw a smaller wedding, you’ll have plenty of funds to spend on looking fabulous. 😉 Good thing cash gifts are an Asian tradition, right? So much easier! I’m really grateful people took our registry requests to heart rather than sending us unwanted heirlooms… I have NO idea where we’d put those things!
Thanks, friend! Yes, it can get stressful… there are SO many details that go into pulling this thing together! You can always put a “gift certificate wishlist” on your wedding website, so people can give you items that are easy to use, easy to store and really exciting to receive. And trust me… the less stuff you have at the end of the wedding, the less stressful it is to move forward into your marriage and life after the wedding! 🙂 Good luck!!
Thank you!! And yes, there are certain things we choose to hold onto because they’re just that special! I’m sure your dress is gorgeous!
Thanks Renee!! Yes, that’s just about as simple as can be!
definitely sharing this!
I’m so with you on this, Daisy! I also wouldn’t have called myself a minimalist at the time of my wedding, but the wheels were just starting to turn. Keeping our wedding and registry simple was actually a huge catalyst in causing me to question things I used to just accept as “normal” (like overspending!). I actually have a post in the works about a minimalist wedding registry — we also avoided things like china, silver, and tons of cutesy appetizer trays and serving dishes. We ended up getting only the most practical things, and we use every single item! Also, your wedding, your dress, YOU were so beautiful! What a special day. 🙂
I love seeing some of your wedding pictures, and your dress was gorgeous, as were you! If we ever get married, we don’t want to do a huge wedding (though I do want to wear a pretty dress for pictures, heh). And I would definitely prefer cash gifts above all!! Who needs a million plates or blenders?!
I’m 7 months out from my wedding and these tips couldn’t come at a more perfect time! After adopting a more minimalist lifestyle and continuing with my purging to this day, I feel a lot of stress about even having the wedding to begin with! I’ve already cut my registry in half and decided to use our wedding cake as our favor since we are having such an elaborate dessert bar! This post was a great affirmation that I can have a more formal wedding and come out of it on the other side without mountains of stuff! P.S You looked beautiful!
These are good tips! We had a registry that wasn’t kept up to date and as a result have more glasses than we can fit in our cupboards, and two slow cookers! Didn’t want to seem rude by asking to return them.
I understand about the wedding dress, but I just can’t part with mine! My mum still has hers too, it takes up a lot of space for something we will never wear again, but it’s nice to keep with the tradition!
Away From The Blue
Really great tips! When we decide to get married, we wont even have a wedding. A quick justice of the peace ceremony and we’re done! haha barely any expense!
You looked stunning by the way!
Renee | Lose The Road