I’ve noticed a trend among the adults I know. Most people seem to spend much time doing something that they neither care about nor enjoy.
Furthermore, many tell me, “I would do more of X if I only had the chance.”
What’s ironic about that? X usually stands for something involving a contribution to the world, or a life-enriching experience. So, qualitative as my data might be, many people give up on contributing to the world or enriching their lives because they feel that they just can’t.
(Related: 5 Minimalist Secrets to Saving Money)
So, what’s the deal? Is it that our current rhythm of life doesn’t allow us to do these things? Is no one chasing their dreams?
I understand that we have limits, and I’d be the last to say that an epicurean approach to life is the right one. But I think more of us need to consider whether our priorities are reflected through our everyday living. Do we really want to travel? Do we really want to spend more time with our loved ones? Do we really want to be healthier?
I’ve often found myself complaining that I “just can’t” do something. And maybe I’m right sometimes. But I’ve also realized that I can make space for my priorities. I can be intentional about choosing what way my life is going to go.
You either run your life, or your life runs you.
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Friend, you and I have much more freedom than we allow ourselves to believe. Let’s start prioritizing what we love, one step at a time.
10 Simple Ways to Prioritize What You Love
1) Make a list of your priorities. Limit yourself to 5.
Have you ever written down a list of what matters to you MOST in the world? I did this once, and was amazed at how little someone would be able to tell, if they looked at my life from the outside. Make this list, and put it somewhere you’ll see it everyday.
2) Reconsider what’s an option and what’s an obligation.
We talk ourselves into thinking we’re over-obliged and in-demand. It’s self-flattery, really. The true issue among us relatively well-to-do individuals? We’ve confused our options with our obligations, and we forget to ask ourselves why we continue to oblige ourselves. Explore that why, and then cut out those things that don’t have good reasons to go with them.
3) Remind yourself not to buy things you don’t need.
Is money ever not tight? I know very few people who can genuinely say, “I’m content with my current income. I could live with this.” But, we forget to ask the more important question: “Are all my needs met?” Most likely, the answer is yes– so we can save on those things we don’t need. Related: 7 Reasons We Buy Things We Don’t Need
4) Ask for help from someone who cares.
There’s nothing quite as difficult as breaking a habit (or starting a new one) by yourself. So tell someone that you want to start prioritizing x, what that means literally, and how often they should check in with you about it. Return the favor.
5) Decline the temptation to be perfect in every way.
It took me years to understand this: I’m not perfect, I am enough. When we’re committed to perfection, we find ourselves lost in a sea of shoulds and shouldn’ts. Those notions lead our lives, often in the place of our true priorities. Related: Why Perfectionism Might Be Stealing Your Joy
6) Build new habits into your schedule. Use an alarm clock if necessary.
Is there something you can do about your priorities everyday? Find those empty moments in your schedule and be intentional about it. Even if it means you get to read with a cup of tea for 15 minutes per day, that’s doing something! Setting an alarm clock may sound silly, but it works. When that alarm rings, drop what you’re doing and commit.
7) Evaluate your activities: which ones are the most life-giving?
It’s true that we sometimes have to do things we don’t enjoy as an investment in our future. But how many of our activities give us life? Which ones make us feel inspired, courageous, and selfless? Let’s do more of those things, and less of the things that make us feel inadequate, tired, and self-involved.
8) Take care of yourself enough to be fully present at all times.
Sure, mental and physical health might not be high on everyone’s list, but let’s face it: without those things, we won’t be successful in many other ways. Jim Elliot famously said, “Wherever you are, be all there.” We can’t be all there if we’re constantly falling apart.
9) De-clutter and de-own.
As I try living simply– for good– I’ve learned something. Getting rid of stuff is not the same as deciding to live with less. Getting rid of old things could easily be an excuse to buy new things, which simply perpetuates the cycle. Instead, I suggest reconsidering how much stuff we want to live with on a long-term basis. Choose a point of contentment and stick with it.
10) Invest in what you love: where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Sometimes you and I just need to take the plunge. Dive in– with reason– by investing our time and resources in that thing we love and cherish. Let’s be generous and fearless about it; if we do love it so much, we can’t go wrong. And as we move forward in that love, it will start to define us and shape us. All the better, right?
The bottom line
Your life will not align with your priorities overnight; nor will it happen without much effort from you. We must allow ourselves to live with more integrity. Let’s stop complaining that we don’t have time or money for what we love most. The truth is that we do, and what we can’t afford is to neglect those things forever.
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Thanks Daisy! 🙂
This is a great post, Daisy! I love how you put it together so well. Our spending habits & distractions definitely take away from our priorities.
Oh I am so grateful you read this and shared about your blog too! I look forward to reading your post!
Wonderful post Daisy and thank you!
I agree with all nine of your ways, but number ten is the one that does it for me every time!
I’ve recently been struggling with similar ideas and finally – I wrote a post about it 🙂 – decided to just go with what I loved as first and foremost with all other things coming in second, third and so on. I felt freer instantly 🙂
Thanks again and I’m really enjoying your blog.
Take care and all the best.
Lyle
Thank you so much, Lane! And that quote is great– our days are for pursuing what matters!
Thanks Anne, glad to hear it! 🙂 And I can definitely relate– I love knowing at the end of the day that I spent a considerable amount on what matters most!
Aw thank you! 🙂 I definitely find it important to recognize perfectionism for what it is. Thanks for reading, Nabihah!
Exactly!! Many people I know get excited to de-clutter because they’re excited about going shopping again! Cleaning out is one thing, but choosing to own less– period– is much harder. Glad this resonated with you, Julie!
Ah thanks girl!! I appreciate that!!
Ah thanks so much, Shireen!! And, we all take the steps that we need to take– no matter what that means for you! I’m glad you’ve done that! And thank you for reading. 🙂
Yes! I feel exactly the same way… you’re not alone!
Thanks girl!! Glad to hear it!
Thank you Marcella!! I’m so glad that you decided to pursue what you love– many people don’t have the courage to do that. Thanks for reading! 🙂
Yes! We’re often committed to things that don’t matter to us! x
Love this so much! It is so great that you provided us with this step by step guide so there are no more excuses! It really is so important to make time to do what you love. I saw this quote the other day: “Make a list of things you love to do. Make a list of what you do every day. Adjust accordingly.”
Great message!
xx Lane
You always leave me feeling like I can tackle anything! I need to sit down and prioritize because there are some days where I feel like I have umpteen things to do and nothing gets done. Love your tips!
Every time I read your blog, I want to be a better person. Really love these tips – I find that #5 often stops me from doing what I want to or what I love for fear that I won’t be perfect at it. I need to accept myself and prioritize what I want for the sake of my happiness!
I love what you said about decluttering and de-owning. So many times we clean out the clutter just to make space for more and we quickly fill the gaps and then some. This is something I am really working on in simplifying my own life. I loved all your points in this post, but that one especially hit home for me.
daisy! you are absolutely killing it with your blog! this is fantastic (i’m echoing shireen..another one!) such a solid list!
Another well written post, Daisy and a thought provoking one too. I think I’m slowly getting there…my problem is I love to buy beauty products and being a beauty blogger makes it too easy for me to find a silly excuse to splurge. But for some reason I stopped going nuts wanting everything and anything 3-4 months ago. I still purchase one or two products once a month but I no longer walk out of a store with 10 products in the bag each week. I do feel proud of myself for this, might be such a small silly thing for many but it was a problem to me and I’m happy to overcome it. And you’re right as always, we need to know our priorities.
Shireen | Reflection of Sanity
I really need to wake up earlier, but it’s so hard! I realise that when i wake up earlier, I can do more things in a day and then feel happier about myself!
The Runaway Journal
“Reconsider what’s an option and what’s an obligation.” That is SUCH good advice. Definitely going to be thinking on that this week!
Great post as always, Daisy. Love all your posts on creating a happier life through simple changes 🙂 I can totally relate to this as up until a year ago I was in a job that took over my life and I felt like I could never do the things I wanted to do. Then I took a step back and quit because work isn’t the priority in my life, especially when it makes you miserable. Now I make sure to make time for the things that make me happy; reading, art, photography, travel and friends as well as working at a job that makes me happy!
i’d definitely say don’t be afraid of limiting your priorities! x