My husband and I have enjoyed sharing meals since our very first date. We both love food, and have come to love it together– refining each other’s tastes and preferences as we explore culinary possibilities at home.
But my favorite thing about eating together is the conversation we’re able to have– that is, if my mind isn’t going 90 miles an hour. He’s gotten accusomted to pausing the conversation and asking me deliberately, “What’s on your mind?”
Most of the time, it’s easy for me to point to something: something that has nothing to do with our table conversation. Why do I do this? I’ve often wondered.
The wandering mind: a strength and weakness
Sometimes it’s great to have a mind that is constantly abuzz with activity. It means that I come up with new ideas all the time, and am unceasingly solving problems on an hourly basis.
The weakness is, of course, that it’s hard for me to be present. Much of the mind activity is driven by anxiousness, an unwillingness to relax. It also makes it difficult for me to be fully productive with tasks at hand. If I indulge my mind too much, it’s hard for me avoid multi-tasking. Unfortunately, my work is always best when I’m as focused as possible.
Turning off work mode
I wish it were easy for me to turn off the proverbial work mode in my mind when it’s time to stop working. I’ve always found this challenging, but absolutely necessary. Lately, I’ve been working a lot, and thus the amount of time I get to spend not working at all is pretty limited. I want to make the most of that time.
Here’s what I’ve found to ease my racing mind– and if you’re like me, I hope this works for you too!
5 ways to relax when your mind won’t turn off
1) Write your anxieties down.
Whether it’s in the form of a list, a reflection, a rant or a prayer, write down whatever unfinished business there is. I treat my notebook as a metaphor for my work mind: once the thoughts are written there, I close it and put it away. Then I can relax until it’s time to get to work again– as easy as opening up the notebook and seeing where I left off.
2) Step away from the computer.
Because of my day job, this blog, and several other commitments, my default free time activity is to sit down before my computer and have it tell me what I should do. There’s always something to read, reply to, or contribute to, but that doesn’t mean I need to do it in the moment. Being glued to my computer has been a difficult habit to break, but I’ve succeeded! I instituted a screen-free Saturday this weekend and it was glorious. Even a few hours of being away from my computer helped me think of several brilliant ideas that probably never would have otherwise surfaced.
3) Work with your hands.
This is why I love gardening and cooking. They are, in their own right, activities that are interesting, challenging and rewarding. But they’re nothing like what I do for work, so I can enjoy them as hobbies. They’re also perfect for anyone who otherwise leads a sedentary lifestyle. Gardening brings me closer to nature, and cooking allows me to think about the food I eat and serve people I love. I’m always in a better mood after I do either!
4) Create art.
It’s not a habit for me to sit down and do a craft project, but I’ve always enjoyed it. Every time I’ve handmade a birthday card, wrapped a gift, or painted with acrylics, I’ve been able to think more deeply. My mind leaves the confined spaces of my weekly routine, and meanders through memories and dreams. It’s an effective way to remember what really matters, and to see the larger picture over my current tiny snapshot.
5) Do something for someone else.
This is perhaps my favorite. Taking care of someone else’s needs always takes my mind off of whatever anxiety is nagging in the shadows. While it may seem anti-intuitive to work towards someone else’s benefit when I could be working towards my own, this has always been the best way to keep myself centered on the conviction that life is not just about work and achievement. Far from it– loving others is at the core of what I want my life to be about.
The bottom line: act on intention, not impulse.
How easy is it to turn on your favorite show when your mind is racing? I know, I’ve been there. But I’ve often found that no media binge can really slow me down or help me to feel refreshed. Instead, I’ve found that taking my mental anxiety and redirecting it– according to conviction and intention– brings me closer to where I want to be.
What are your relaxation strategies when your mind is at full speed?
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I can relate to this way too much. My mind is constantly going. This was a good reminder that writing things down is so helpful for focusing. Thanks Daisy!
Coley
Life Goals Mag
Hey Anna!! How are you?? I can’t wait to catch up on your blog, Anna. I’m vacationing in Mexico City at the moment (will definitely write about it) but I’ll be back in the blogosphere soon. Also thanks for enjoying this post! We’ve been going to cafes around here and it’s been really fabulous. Such a great way to get out and spend time reflecting.
Hey Daisy! I’m just starting to get back into the blog world and catching up with you! Oh man, this post hit home. I feel like my mind is never off either and I’m always thinking of something (even when I’m trying to relax in a yoga practice). My treat to myself is going to a cafe and read a book while enjoying a meal slowly. That just feels like such a sweet little indulgence in an otherwise busy life!
This post is so needed, Daisy! It’s hard for people to turn off these days with all the distractions and notifications. The tip about writing has also always worked for me.
Sharing on Twitter!
I am certain electronics totally make this worse! I find the best way to turn off my mind is to sit in the warm bath, put a face mask on and just listen to silence. It’s the only way I can get myself back to normal after a stressful day. I will try writing things down and see how that plays out too!
http://www.accordingtokiki.net
Thanks so much for reading, friend! I also have to remind myself that ultimately, resting well is the key to being productive.
Thanks girl! I hope you do pick up painting! Every time I do, it relaxes me like nothing else.
I think working out is an AWESOME way to tackle this. I’m not great at going to the gym, but I’m working on it!
I love this post, friend! My mind seriously won’t ever turn off – it’s so frustrating!! Sometimes it helps me be productive; other times, I get anxious or overwhelmed. I appreciate these tips! Thank you 🙂
These are really great suggestions, Daisy! My mind is always going – like you said, it’s a blessing and a curse. I need to pick up painting for fun again, I think.
For me, the best is when I do something that is so physically demanding and complicated that I can’t focus on anything else. Picking up a barbell usually does the trick, though lately playing Ultimate has been great.
Omg, I realised my typo just now and now I’m embarrassed…
Awesome! 🙂
Thanks Alyssa! I love cuddling up to a good book too. Entering someone else’s story is a great way to shift our attention– without numbing the anxiety.
Thanks girl! Going screen-free is so so wonderful.
Thanks girl! I love it!
Thanks Marcella! Ooh I really need to find an adult coloring book! I’ve seen them around and definitely want to try them. xo
Yes!!! Baking is so great. With a happy end result too. 😉
Yes!! Looking at it written down is actually helpful in itself– as you say, it makes the list look finite and manageable. You’re also right about this idea of being completely done. It doesn’t happen, so we just have to pause and rest when it’s the right time.
I appreciate that, friend! It’s definitely hard not to work (in your mind) all the time. xx
Thanks Edye! 🙂
Thanks Melanie! Writing things down helps feel like you’re not just shoving thoughts away, but gives you permission to revisit them later.
Yes, it’s so true to turn off my phone! But I love spending hours without having to look at it! And thanks Julie! 🙂
Journaling, being creative, and turning that computer off/setting my phone down (which is SO HARD; why is it that difficult?!) are my go-to’s for trying to relax. Also, I love that you and your husband have such great conversations over meals together!! 🙂
“Act on intention, not impulse” – that’s such a great mantra! I definitely often have trouble turning off my mind and have found myself struggling with anxiety in the past, but I have never thought about keeping a notebook to write all these thoughts down in… I should definitely give it a go!
Such great tips! I really needed to read this today. Thanks for sharing 🙂
Blessings,
Edye // Gracefulcoffee.wordpress.com
Oh Daisy .. I also have a mind that just ‘won’t shut off’. Lately I’ve been trying to do a lot of behind the scenes work so it’s worse than ever. Thank you so much for this post – it has definitely served as a timely reminder to disconnect. xx
Writing it all down is definitely my go-to strategy. Often I get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things I need to do and remember, but writing it down makes it all look a lot more manageable. I also try to tell myself that I could literally never be “done” — so doing one more thing won’t actually get me closer to an endpoint. I get to choose the endpoint! It’s tough to break those habits and chains, and I’m really grateful for your honest and wisdom as you attempt this!
This is why I am a list maker. I feel so much better when I wrote things down… Just as long as my list doesn’t get too long. 🙂
Also, cookie baking is the best form of stress therapy.
Some pretty interesting tips, at night I at times find my mind doesn’t want to shut down and let me sleep it is so annoying, so I have to lay still and concentrate on my breathing in order to get my mind to shut down and rest for the night
Great tips! I find that cooking and adult colouring books help me to unwind as you are totally focused on the task at hand. Totally agree with stepping away from the computer, and our smartphones too!
Love these ideas! I’m totally with you on the writing things down concept. Just getting it all out of my brain and down on paper helps me so much.
xoxo
Kat
Writing down everything that is floating around in my mind in a list really helps me as well! Great tips, having a screen-free day really is such a wonderful break.
Great tips, as always, Daisy! I find that escaping into a book is the best way for me. I become more concerned with what’s going on in the characters’ lives and take a break from my own 🙂
I also expereinced that writing down thoughts can get them out of my mind.